Letter Girl x`92

It's about to start !

2012-02-26T22:14:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

Uni is starting for me on Tuesday. I hope I wake up early enough. The way the timetable has been set, there is this 3 hour break that I don't know what to do with just yet. I have joined some groups/clubs/societies or whatever they are called at uni so I don't just work on assignments and stuff this year. I'm actually looking forward to this year. Also because it is an entirely new course so I don't really know what I'll be doing to the fullest extent.

At orientation they were saying that for the first 7 weeks that we'll be working with Flash. I think I'll be ok. I've spent a lot of time working with that program so I know my way around it, so that should be awesome. I also need to bring a graphics tablet to class. I have two so, I'm feeling mighty prepared for something that I haven't started yet.

I was at this event with my Mum this weekend run by two guys called Jeff and Kane. It was really good. It was awesome. These types of events are mostly geared to people who have their own business and stuff like that but I can still apply these things towards my studies and it's good to have some ideas about marketing and branding and things like that. I don't necessarily need a business to apply these things to my life.

One of the clubs/social groups that I joined is the Entrepreneurial Society. You might wonder why an Animation student would join a group like that. I just think that I need to be there and mix with different circles of people to see the opportunities that I would surely miss if I just stay deep within my comfort zone.

That's all from me today. I have gone outside everyday and I have caught the bus somewhere everyday since Friday of last week. Tomorrow I will sleep in and recharge before my first Uni lecture as an Animation student.

G

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

2012-02-20T17:01:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I've was a little social last week. Friday I met up with friends and Saturday night I went out with friends from uni to celebrate a birthday. There was something else but I just can't write it here. I got home at 2.30am. Yesterday I was out again with my Mum.

I can't tell my Dad that I went out and stayed out late because if I do he will flip out. He gets very worried about anything at all. I was joking with my Mum that he would dress up the rabbits in black ops gear and send them to keep an eye on me.

There is this one thing that I could write a lot about but I think that it would be best not to for the time being.

G

A Vague Moment or Two

2012-02-16T23:14:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I feel like writing today. I just feel like I've reached this point where I'm balancing between two lines. I know this might sound weird to some but to others you might understand what I'm saying even though I'm being quite vague about it. Although that is an understatement. I'm being exceptionally vague.

I think that in these 'vague' moments we find ourselves asking the all important questions. The important questions that can lead us down two or more different paths that can end in so many different ways. Sometimes it'll be a slight variation in the weather or something much bigger at the end. We just have to consciously decide with great certainty which path we want to take. In this case I'm leaving it to my intuition because although it might seem quiet, and non-existent at times, all I have to do is listen closely. Sometimes thats all we have to do. We just have to listen to get the answer that has been staring at us in the face for so long. The answer that was about to get up and slap you in the face. Although even if it did slap you in the face, if you weren't listening, you probably wouldn't have heard it.

I don't know what it is but for some reason I feel like my life is about to change. I really don't know why I feel that it is but it does. I think I've come to terms with the idea that I'm on my path to fulfil the purpose for why I'm here.

I think I need to go to sleep now. I've been sitting here thinking about what I've written for a while now.

G

Valentines Day

2012-02-14T23:38:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

Valentines Day will be over in less than 30 minutes. I did go outside today. I spent the day with my Mum. I got to walk around the city for an hour by myself. It was nice. It did rain though. I had my umbrella so it was all good. While I was walking a yellow ladybug landed on my arm. I guess it wanted to shield itself from the rain and thought that I was a good source of protection. They are really cute creatures. I guess on Valentines Day, and seeing as I didn't have a Valentine, it was nice to know that nature loves me so. It almost makes me want to go sit under a tree with a quill and write poetry....

Ok, I'll stop with the sarcasm.

I hope you all had a very nice Valentines day.

G

Believe, Achieve, Succeed !

2012-02-05T22:38:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I've got some absolutely great news !

On Friday I checked my assessment results for semester 3 from Insearch. I got the GPA that I wanted to achieve at the start of last year when I originally wanted to get into second year vis comm. at UTS. I was so happy. Hysterically laughing and smiling. If only I was with a bunch of people at that exact moment to laugh and smile with. It just proved to me that if you really truly want something and you focus and drive yourself to achieve your goal, you can achieve it.

Believe, Achieve, Succeed !

Wow, that sounds so corny and cheesy... but I like it.

I ended up getting a HD average for a subject which finally balanced out the credit that I got in semester 1. My plan A was getting the GPA, my plan B was going through the process of having a portfolio interview. Both plans worked in the end so it's kinda funny when you think about it... or not.

I'm currently listening to Boy & Bear. It's just nice to listen to some music. I haven't been listening to any music in my iTunes this week. No wonder I've been feeling a little out of it.

I did play the violin this week. I hadn't even touched the case since sometime in September 2011. I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to that instrument. It's been a part of my life for so long. Is it possible to love such an object? I think so. As my year 12 Music teacher said, "it's an extension of ourselves."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about this or not but I guess I should.

This time last year I was in Fiji with my Mum at this conference. The same sort of conference was in Thailand this year. If we had gone to that we would be in Thailand right now. I'm a little bummed that we didn't go but I'm also slightly relieved due to the fact that a certain person is there although having an excuse like that seems so high school. And there is also the time factor of a monthly friend that had conveniently decided to visit that would have made the entire time away a little uncomfortable.

This time last year I think there was a really bad heat wave, which my Mum and I and a whole bunch of people missed out on. This year, Summer in Australia has involved a lot more rain.

On a completely different note, I realised something quite astronomical. On average I forget at least one thing every time I move between my Mums place and my Dads place. If each of those things were something different, it means that I've forgotten approximately 728 things in my life (give or take). That seems like a very big number for someone my age. Thats just from when I've started school. I really don't remember if I moved between houses before Kindergarten. Shit. I really can't remember any of it.

I've spent my entire life moving, I've been constantly moved between two places. The longest time I've ever spent in one place before moving to the next has been 3 weeks...

Wow. I feel like I'm a statistic, a fugitive, a blur.

G

p.s. W... T... F....

read with caution

2012-02-01T21:25:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

My test results from the blood test were good. My Dad was concerned that my Iron levels would have been low which confuses me because we eat like massive carnivores whenever I'm at his place. Once for 3 meals straight every meal contained a lot of meat. He wanted me to take some vitamin tablets. Stuff that...

Anyway.

Lately I've been coming to terms with something that I've been distracting myself from for a very long time. With certain situations it can be better to confront the situation in it's entirety when it happens. For me I thought that I had but I knew that I had to focus on something else so there was always just a little bit of uncertainty in developing full closure. That little bit seems to be the most important. That little bit can be answered honestly by asking one question. That little bit can leave you to feel very confused if left unanswered for an extended period
of time.

I've been distracting myself from a question that I know the answer to. I've known the answer for a very very long time. I just didn't want to face it because it's easier to be distracted than to realise that, yes the answer might surprise you, but it can also lead you to feel very.... alone.

I just find myself thinking about past moments because they make me smile so much, like if you think of a time when you heard a funny joke.

A reason to smile for no reason at all.

I just needed to get that out there because I think it'll finally be done.

G

i haven't the faintest idea...

2012-01-27T20:38:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today hasn't been the greatest. This morning I basically passed out (standing up) in the kitchen. I was feeling faint and blacking out so I went to fill up a glass of water. I took one sip and I dropped the glass on the counter. I had like no strength. There was water on the floor because I remember my feet were a little wet. Thankfully my Dad was asking me a question at the time otherwise I probably would have collapsed on the kitchen floor. I couldn't see or hear anything. My dad guided me to the couch where I manoeuvred my way over the arm and onto the couch cushions.

He was worried of course so he took my blood pressure when I was able to see and hear, it was like 90/60... which is quite low. We went to the doctors after. Waiting for like 2 hours. I had a blood test done. I hate needles so much. I was trying to think positively and to stay calm. I have a bruise from the needle so it kind of hurts to lift anything with my right arm. I also felt very faint after the blood test and I went really super white and I kind of scared the doctor. My pulse was very low. I never react well to blood tests.

My Dad asked me if I had any Vampire friends... I said, "I don't think so."

I don't really like going to the doctors.

I have to go back tomorrow to get the results.

G

neat and tidy

2012-01-25T12:22:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Chinese New Year was on Monday. I went out to dinner with my Dad and some family friends. We ate sooooo much food. Although when we got home, my dad still suggested that there was ice-cream to be eaten in the freezer...

I was thinking about the last Chinese New Year, and I realised that I was in Fiji at the time. I remember they a had a lion dance at the hotel.

Anyway, I have the task of sorting out the kitchen cupboards. My Dad seems to just throw the food in there (they are in packets though), and it's just a mess (same goes for the fridge). Ever since the living room has been cleaned up and tidied without stuff everywhere he's been trying to keep it neat. I was getting a little annoyed at him because I would clean up and then after staying at my Mums for a week, I'd come back and it would all be messy again. He's actually cleaning up his room now too. I still have a few things to sort out in my room. It's all the assignments and stuff like materials that I would use.

I also did some work on that animation that I started last year. In 1 hour I animated 3 seconds of one character. The animation centres around 2 characters. If there was a lot more detail in this then it would take a lot longer. I have around 13 seconds of animation on just one character but I have to put the second one in too. I can see the finished product in my mind, so thats something good. Normally after a certain period of time like 8 minutes (or less or more), you can forget an idea if you don't write it down. To me that's quite true, although with this, because I've thought about it so much, it's always there.

I was playing the Sims 3 last night and discovered a very cute looking artwork that you can buy to decorate your sims' homes. It's based off Nyan Cat... it made me laugh so much when I saw it. If I remember I'll take a screenshot of it when I next play. I also discovered the day care profession which is quite interesting...

Australia Day is tomorrow. The weather this week is forecast for rain like everyday. I don't mind so much, I do quite like the rain.

And yes, the Keratin treatment for my hair works. All I have to do after I wash it is use a hair dryer and it goes straight. My hair is so soft now and the shampoo and conditioner that I have to use now makes it smell nice. I sometimes find myself smelling my hair...

G

excitement !

2012-01-19T17:41:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I've got some exciting news. The offers for uni came out last night. I got an offer for the Bachelor of Animation at UTS. I am so happy.

Its funny to think that I handed in the last assignment for Insearch on Monday and I had a choice to hand it in today. Would have felt a little obsolete in a way if I went in today. I don't have to worry about getting the 6.0 gpa at Insearch now (it's out of 7). I think it would also be safe to say that my interview went very well considering the outcome.

Yesterday I also got my hair straightened. It was a Christmas present from my Mum. It's a Keratin treatment so I can't wash it until Saturday. It's sooo straight and flat at the moment. I couldn't get the fringe cut so I'm like half-blind right now. The fringe is almost at the tip of my nose. I'll be getting it cut in a few weeks so until then I'll just have to work with my half-lampshade-fringe. And I can't clip it to the side at the moment or I'll crease and dent my hair.

I should go, I just thought that I should blog today. I am feeling a little tired, I need a nap or something.

Also congratulations to everyone who got an offer for uni this year. It's going to be an interesting year.

G

...

2012-01-13T23:34:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today was my last class of semester 3. My last class of Insearch. I am so relieved. I still have to go in on Monday to hand in the last and final assignment. I have almost finished it. It's the calendar and visual journal one. I just have to go get the calendar bound tomorrow at Officeworks before its 100% complete.

I don't know what it is but just lately I've been feeling a little all over the place.

Anyway, I'm currently in the process of cleaning up my room. There was a class party today but I would have had to have waited around in the city for like 4 hours and I had an A2 carry case thing with me and I just wanted to get home and finish making my calendar stand.

I was using imitation silver leaf for an assignment last night so I could finish it off and hand it in today. There is so much of it all over the floor. I'm going to have fun vacuuming that up tomorrow. I've cleared my desk from the paper tornado trail of destruction that was everywhere.

I want to get back to working on that animation that I started last year. I just want to organise my room first. I also need to clean my desk, there's ink and pen markings all over it.

G

work and play

2012-01-10T01:29:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I thought that I should blog even though it is quite late.

I'm currently working on assignments. I finished one. I thought that I had finished it earlier this morning but after talking to some people in my class today at the lecture I realised that I had forgotten to do one thing. I had everything ready to print so I went and printed that off. The print shop reopened today after the holidays and there was only one guy working so it took a while to get everything printed.

I've only just realised how much of a reflex command-s is for me now.

Anyway, I have go back either today or tomorrow to get the two remaining pages printed. I also need to get some other things printed for another assignment too. This is the last week of Insearch. I have to hand in something next Thursday though so I can get back my other assignments for that one subject. I know my Mum will have a little whine about that but I'm the one doing the assignments not her. I really don't care all that much about going in for one day next week to hand in an assignment. I've pretty much finished it, I just don't want to go get it printed yet until I get feedback for it in class. I designed a calendar and I'm not sure about how to bind it just yet so I won't rush the process.

I thought I'd post up some photos of the visual journal that I put together. It's a part of the calendar assignment. I had to think of a way to bind the journal together. Luckily I decided to invest in buying some eyelets. I even have a small hammer that I bought as part of a set of tools. Its fun, but I can only work with the eyelets during the day because of the amount of noise.

I have been a busy girl. I want to make a cover for the journal though. It tilts and doesn't stay upright. I guess I'll have to go buy some mount board for it. I do have some here but its not big enough of me to use. Maybe I'll make a trip to Officeworks tomorrow in the city. I can go to Eckersleys there too.

I should go and figure out what I need to get printed for tomorrow.

G

New Years Resolution

2012-01-01T23:21:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

It's now 2012. It's a Sunday. I thought that I should blog.

I did spend today at home. I was in the mood to work on my assignments so I did work on those. Pretty much all of the annotation for the font design is done, all I have to do is make the folio look pretty and presentable, i.e professional. I also worked on the visual representation assignment. I'm starting to put together the visual journal for it. I am short of black paper. It needs to be 125gsm to keeps a 'professional consistency' thing. I'm going to have to go buy some more. Maybe tomorrow or on Tuesday I can ask my Dad to take me to Officeworks so I can buy some. There is one other assignment that I'm just not looking forward to starting although it probably won't be so bad once I start it.

I was listening to music all day through my new Monster Beats, a Christmas present.

It was a good day for me. I really just wanted to spend time listening to some music which is what I did. Sent a few text message replies to people sending New Years wishes. I woke up this morning and saw a text on my phone from a certain person... name starting with C. I found it interesting that my reaction was neutral. Considering who it was from. One of those mass text messages that you would send to a group of people. Apparently I have either made them laugh, smile or I've had some impact on their life in 2011.

I think my New Years Resolution for 2012 is to take better care of myself. I've spent so much time focusing on study for 2011, I didn't want any distractions, and no matter what happened or how I was feeling I didn't want to stop too much for too long to think about it because it would have been a distraction. Which was a good thing but it was emotionally draining especially during the last few weeks of 2011 where I was having difficulties keeping my focus. It's like feeling very awake and alert, but a part of you is really tired and falling asleep, you're not at 110%.

So in taking better care of myself, I want to try to eat healthier. I did kind of gain 6kgs last year but then I cut back on the chocolates and the chips and the ice cream and the bad foods and I lost most of it. The losing of the weight wasn't just an appearance thing, I just felt so bleh about myself, where you just feel tired and slow. Not eat so many biscuits. Drink more water. Eat less chocolate.

Also finding a better balance between myself and studying. Manage my time better too.

I should go, I hope you all had an awesome New Year.

G

just remember why

2011-12-29T17:22:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I don't know what it is but everyday seems to feel like a Saturday. I think this happens to me every year. It will be 2012 soon. It's been an interesting year. I've been in my pj's all day.

I've been working on one assignment. I need to create 10 visual representations for it. I need to do another 3. I don't have the materials that I want to use for one of them so I plan to get the other two done today. I need to clean up my desk. So many different coloured pieces of paper all over it.

I just feel tired. 3 Semesters is a lot although in another 2 weeks it'll be over. Sometimes I just sit here and think that it's all too much but then I remember what I want and it's what keeps me going.

The one thing that annoys me about only having a two week break for this semester is that I want to animate something but I'm just so tired and I have 3 assignments that I have to finish. I haven't even started one but the posters that I need for it are at my dads place. I'm going there tomorrow and staying there until the end of the semester. At least I'll have 2 desks to work at but I need to clear the mess that's blocking the desk first. There is a pile, A PILE of folders on the floor there from assignments. I just look at the pile and I just stare at how much work goes into each one. I really need to start folios for assignments sooner. The one assignment that I did actually start early I got a HD for.

I need to get back to work. I have class in one week, next Thursday and I have until then to get a bulk of work done.

I haven't really done much shopping. I did with my Mum on xmas eve. Bought 3 shorts and 2 dresses. I want red flats, my Mum asked me why and I just said because... I do have red flats, they just hurt my feet so much, they were really cheap and I've had them for years but I don't really wear them. I tried wearing them around the house just to see how they are but they still hurt a lot.

Christmas day was great. I went to Bondi Beach with my Mum to have lunch. Some of the shops are open there on Christmas day so I got another dress. I actually now own maxi dresses. I've always wanted a long dress and now I have 3...

I should really get back to work. I also need to tidy up this desk and my room a little too. I need to put away some clothes. The problem with having two places to live, is that you have two rooms and if you clean one up, you still have another one to clean up. I have somehow misplaced a pair of shoes. I really don't know where they are or in which room.

I don't know why but I just find myself thinking, "I'm 19..." over and over.

Last night I was at Darling Harbour with my Mum and I was just wondering to myself, when was the last time that I was here at night. The answer, Easter weekend. I think. I'm really not sure actually.

Anyway, I hope you all have a very lovely New Year. New Years Eve is approaching very quickly.

G

...

2011-12-22T23:45:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I just felt like blogging. I know that I'm on my 2 week break before going back for another 2 weeks of uni. I have done some work but not a lot. I'll get to working on my font design, its just outlining with the pen tool in Illustrator so I don't mind doing that too much. Today I finally finished making my book for an assignment. The folio for it was due last week but the finished bound book is due when I go back. Binding the book took all day because I had to remake the cover as it was too separate from the contents of the book. At least I've done one thing. I have hand drawn my font, all the characters, numerals and punctuation too. So I've nearly finished two things but I need to get the folio for that sorted too.

It was my birthday on Tuesday. I had a good day. It was nice having lunch with a few friends and then going karaoke after. My Dad gave me a MacBook Pro 17 Inch. The screen is so much better to work at. My 13-inch Macbook is great, although working on folios with 50+ pages on a screen that size is a little straining especially when you are working on it for length periods of time. I also got some new headphones too. My Mum bought me a nice pair of earrings from Mimco.

I feel stuck on what to write because I don't want to write it but I know that I should but I don't want to...

I need to either go to sleep and wake up early so I can go buy my Dad his xmas present and do some uni work, or go do some uni work now. Strangely enough, I choose to sleep even though my dreams are becoming very very strange. Not the type of strange like before, a new strange. My dreams are becoming more complex...

G

birthday, xmas, new year

2011-12-19T13:15:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I didn't blog yesterday because tomorrow is my... 19th birthday!

This year has been good. If you have followed this blog since the beginning of the year, you would know of the events surrounding February - April. I know I must have said it sometime between then and now, but its all just a big learning experience. Heartache or not, we are all here to learn and grow, so that's how I see that. It was the one time where I actually spoke up and I was heard, taking control of a situation that would have just gone nowhere if I hadn't of done something.

Aside from that, I really don't know what is going on, but for the last 3 nights my dreams have become epiphanies. Surrounding an unusually lengthy amount of dialogue. There are the slightly blurred faces, although there was one face that wasn't blurred at all and I kept calling them by their name so when I woke up I knew who it was. No surprises there.

Anyway, for my last day being 18, I am going to make myself a big bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese, I'm going to decorate a Midori Kahlua Cheesecake and just relax.

I know I need to get to working on my uni assignments, so I'll just do a few small things on that today. I tend to work on my font design in the evening, while watching episodes of The Simpsons. I have the box sets and I've been watching season 5. I finished season 14, I watched that while I was crushing biscuits and maltesers yesterday to make a cheesecake. Maybe I'll work on my punctuation for the font design, commas and all that.

I should go, I haven't eaten today. I just haven't been feeling hungry to eat breakfast lately.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and an awesome New Year. It will be Christmas on Sunday, so I might not blog on Sunday. Maybe, Monday or Tuesday.

G

soooo much money $$$!

2011-12-11T23:11:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I need more double-sided tape

I cannot believe how much money I have spent this week. I'm not buying myself things for the fun of it. I'm buying materials for an assignment. ONE ASSIGNMENT! I have to make a book. I need extra paper too and more double sided tape so I'm going to buy some more tomorrow. I used an entire roll of double-sided tape yesterday, thats 33m of tape. I ran out so I can't finish my book. I can just tell that binding this thing is going to be sooooo much fun (insert slight sarcasm). Nah, it's going to be awesome. I just need a title for the book so I can make the cover for it. Everything is hand made so thats why it's costing a lot. I didn't want to just get this printed because it would have been very boring. The spine of the book is going to be approx. 2.5cm. The prototype book that I made to just show what the binding would look like, only had a 1cm spine.

I also need to clean up my desk. I need to clean up my floor there is just sooo much stuff everywhere. I'll do that tomorrow when I pack my stuff up to go to my Dads place. I really need to work on a bigger screen because I need to format the folio for this book assignment as an eBook. Luckily we don't have to print out this folio otherwise I'd be stressing out sooo much. It means that I won't necessarily need to leave the house on Wednesday to go to the printers and get it bound.

I need to research Punk Rock for a group seminar/presentation on Friday. I've got a good quote as a starting point. I'm just a little confused about what I'm supposed to do but I've got a few more hours before I start to feel really tired to figure it out. The other group member is working on the Pop section. Not really looking forward to standing in front of the class for 25 minutes.

I also need to work on my font design, I need to work on that because the refined alphabet is due on Thursday. Luckily the folio for it isn't due until after the break so I have time to work on the folio then.

I need to get to work on all of this. I've actually annotated everything for the book assignment folio so I'm actually pretty happy about that. I think that from all the previous assignments, annotating isn't so difficult and finding good research examples isn't a difficult task. I just need to scan in an A3 sheet for my process and maybe add in a few more photos of the pages that I've done for the book.

I just realised that I'll probably need double-sided tape for the book cover too. I'd use glue but the paper that I've been using curls when I use the glue stick and it makes it a lot harder to glue the pages together. Each spread is basically 3 sheets of paper stuck together.

Anyway I better go before I lose anymore time.

G

i'll find the time

2011-12-08T22:55:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I had my interview today. I think it went well. I won't really find out until January though. I went from having a slight panic attack last night to being nervous this morning to being completely fine during the interview and after the interview. When I was waiting for my turn, I saw one of the interviewers walk out of the room and it was someone that I recognised from when I went to the Animation Festival. It turns out that both the interviewers were there so I wasn't too worried because I had seen them before. They liked that I had done an animation for my year 12 major work and that the animations that I had included in my folio were all done at home by myself, with my own "passion for animation as the driving force"... something like that.

I also had a group presentation today. A group of 3 people acting as someone else in first person, "I am David Carson".... talking in an American accent. It was a debate against the views of the typographer Erik Spiekermann. Spiekermann's work looks very much the same, and Carson's work is just awesome.

I thought that I would be freaking out for the presentation because it ended 20 minutes before class started but I was surprisingly ok and there's just something about speaking in an american accent that makes you speak louder and with more certainty. It makes me laugh just thinking about it.

I also finished my essay on Situationism. It was a very interesting movement to research. Although some parts of it still confuse me. I submitted it to turnitin so at least that part is out of the way. I still need to print it though so I'll just leave early, go to uni and print it there. I don't know what my percentage for the essay is though, in terms of plagiarism. I know that I referenced correctly so I should be fine but turnitin has the habit of seeing words like 'the' and your name as plagiarised, which is ridiculous.

I need to buy materials tomorrow for a book that I need to make for an assignment. I need to figure out exactly how many I'll need before I buy the metallic papers for each page. I'm going to die-cut it all, which means that I'll be cutting shapes out of the paper using a scalpel. I hope my fingers will be intact after I've finished the book. I want to get it done tomorrow night, this should be lots of fun. For the folio they want use to set it out like an eBook, with an index and appendix and stuff.

I have a lot of work to do for next week.

G

where is my time ???

2011-12-03T22:15:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I need to keep better track of time. I don't know how, but sometimes in the morning, I'll turn of my alarm and wake up 30 minutes after the alarm has gone off and I don't even remember turning off my alarm... the phone will just be next to my pillow and I don't know how it got there.

Luckily this normally doesn't happen when I have uni, but it did on Friday. I woke up at 9.30am instead of 8am. At least class didn't start until 12pm.

Anyway, I've been preparing my folio for the interview on Thursday. I have included 8 pieces of work, 4 from uni assignments and 4 animations. I only included the animations where I had process work that included a storyboard and some sketches, to show that I go through some process. The entire folio was compiled in InDesign and its 52 pages long. That may sound like a lot, but its divided into 8 works with process behind it all and one of the works is only the title and a rationale. I practiced talking about the work in the folio and that took around 30 minutes or more, so I'm fine with talking about my work and what I want to achieve and stuff so I'm happy about that. The interview goes for about 20 minutes. I wanted to put another animation in there but 8 is a lucky number and I need to have some uni stuff in there so they can see what process I go through with uni assignments. I'll proof read all the annotations and stuff tomorrow because I've been working on it all day. I also need to get this folio printed so that I have something printed to show them, so I'm not just relying on the computer to show my work.

I have to start writing this essay on Situationism. I am currently trying to print off the journal articles which are pdf files, but it's just taking so long for the files to print. I need to work on this book assignment too, I'll do that while I'm waiting for these pdf files to print, there's 4 and they are around 10 pages each, so I'll be here for a while. I also need to get to working on my font design, but that can wait a few days.

I'm getting excited about Thursday but I'm also a little nervous, I have the interview and a group presentation for an assignment on the same day, with the possibility that there will only be 20 minutes in-between the two things.

Oh $#!% I also have to work on this visual reflective journal thing.

G

so...much...to...do..!

2011-11-24T20:52:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I am soooo tired right now. Maybe its because I ate a lot today... or not. I have to source four references for tomorrow for an annotated bibliography for an essay :( ..... >:(

I had two interim assessments today. One for a book assignment, for which I need to re-evaluate my concept for, and the other for 10 font concepts. I'm really stuck between choosing either my 8-bit concept or the rabbit font concept from the 10 that I had to present today. I'll do a few letters that need to be refined for next week for both concepts to see which one I should go with. The tutor said that the rabbit concept reminded her a little of Playboy...

I've got another two interim assessments next week. I need to create at least another 6 visual interpretations of each weeks learning experience for one subject. Some research examples of creative calendar design and a concept map.

I also got an interview for the B Design in Animation. It's in two weeks and I have to compile my portfolio for that. I have to make it look professional so I'm going to work on that either tomorrow night or on Saturday. I'll get the basic stuff that I need for it and then get to the layout. One step at a time. I'm actually really excited about it. I know my animation stuff isn't absolutely amazing because I'm still learning and developing my skills. I've got 3 assignments that I want to include that I've done this semester. A poster, a series of 5 book covers, and the analytical cubism poster. I'll decide if that's going in there tomorrow when I get back the mark and feedback for it.

I only have one slight issue with the date and time of the interview. I have a group presentation on that day after the interview. The interview is at 1:20pm and goes for 20 minutes, and class normally starts at 1:30pm. I talked to my tutor who I had asked for advice for my digital folio submission. She was really happy for me and said that class for that week would start at 2pm because of the group presentations to give everyone time to prepare. This is good news for me, and a little less stressful. I didn't want to let my group down by not being there because I have to go to the interview and it's not something you can reschedule.

I should really get to this annotated bibliography. I just don't know which topic to pick from the 11 options. I want to pick the option on Pop, which is about pop art and design, but the brief says that we can't pick an option thats being covered in the presentation seminar that I'm doing with someone, but the tutor said that we could. You know what... I'm just going to pick Pop and the tutor who can't give a straight answer can just deal with it. I can always pick Situationism. It looks interesting... ok, I'll do that one. I want to get to bed before 12am today. I'm listening to Boy and Bear so I'll get to it.

G

suddenly dreaming

2011-11-13T22:34:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I haven't done a lot of work this weekend. I might do another hour or so before I go to sleep. It's only 10:35pm.

I was on the couch watching tv just for a little while tonight and I had my arms across my stomach and it just made me think of this dream that I had ages ago. It was a dream where it was kind of like, well you may think it's real, but the reflection in the mirror shows you how that it's anything but real. I know it might sound absolutely ridiculous, but sometimes I kind of miss having those types of dreams, although they are kind of like really terrible epiphanies.

These days my dreams are becoming more vivid, just sometimes though. Nothing super freaky or anything now, which is a nice change. No Freddy Krueger type dreams (???). There isn't that, waking up feeling really uncertain about everything.

There's just something about dreaming that I like when I'm asleep. Whether it'll be seeing someone who you haven't seen in a while even if they are just walking down the pavement of your dream or the adventures you go on and the strange things that happen like cutlery falling like rain from the sky as you hide under the picnic tables in the park surrounded by people who you haven't actually seen before, and then a few days later you see someone on the street who looks like the person in the dream. Or having a dream where I have not so frizzy hair... or having a dream where you can just tell that you are smiling in your sleep because the dream is just so hilarious and you wake up with a big smile on your face because of it.

I should go, I realised that I need to compile a larger version of the folio that I uploaded to UAC so I'm doing that now. It's not too difficult because a lot of the annotations where typed up for previous assignments, so all I need to do is copy-paste-edit.

I wonder what I'll dream tonight...

G

attempting cubism101

2011-11-11T18:38:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I'm just not in the mood to do work right now. I need to take a breather or something. I should do some work though because I've been home since about 2pm and I haven't done any work.

Attempting Analytical Cubism

With that poster I was talking about, the A2 one, I finished that on Wednesday in 4 hours. I'm pretty happy with it. My first attempt at Analytical Cubism. If you're interested in seeing what it is, just google image it. At first I was like, "how am I going to do something like that?" and then I figured it out, with Chalk Pastels. They are soooo messy, I washed my hands like 10 times because I was blending the pastel by hand. I think that Picasso used Oil Paints, but I'm not very good with paint so I tried the pastels instead.

Its not due until Monday and I still have the rationale to do. I brought it into class today to get feedback, the tutor liked it so I don't need to add anything to it. In the criteria it says to add text, but the tutor said only to do that if its applicable to the art movement. I based it on an environmental issue, the issue of Oil Spills.

Wow, I just thought of a whacked out idea for an animation. I won't write it here, coz I think its just that good... ... I just did a quick google search and I don't know if its really been done before... if you could just see the smile on my face :D, I am my own genius.

I really need to get to writing this rationale. I need to also create 4 visual representations for each week of uni so far for this semester for one subject. It's part of an assignment that is due next year. Thats right, I already have assignments that are due in 2012. Even though it'll be January, it's still 2012.

G

i need a break

2011-11-08T22:48:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I realised yesterday that I didn't blog on Sunday like I normally do. On Saturday I spent the whole day refining a series of 5 book covers for an assignment. I then spent all day Sunday working on the folio for it. Luckily the folio is A4 so I could print it out at home. It is due on Thursday and I've done everything for it.

I have another assignment that I need to get printed off tomorrow in A3. I would have printed it at home, but the black ink was low so I didn't want to risk it. I can print it at uni tomorrow. Hopefully the weather is not as humid. I'll be walking from one end of the city to the other tomorrow to get the pages bound together.

I need to start sketching some ideas for an A2 cubism poster that I need to get done by Friday. I have the materials, I just need to get the ideas going. The poster needs to be about a contemporary issue. I'm thinking something along the lines of environmental, depression or identity. I also have to incorporate text into the A2 poster.

My sleeping pattern is getting a little whacked out. Since Saturday I've been sleeping at 2.30am. It's not ideal but its ok. I changed the swap night for this week to today. Being me at 18 has an advantage. If I need to stay in one place for an extra night all I have to do is make a decision and my parents let me keep with that decision. I don't know if I'm making much sense. I had to annotate so much stuff, each annotation for refinement stage of the A4 folio was 180 words on average. It's a lot of writing when you have a lot of refinements. Not to mention the spell check and proof reading.

There is a mosquito flying around my room and I won't go to sleep until it has been... dispatched.

I should get to work, or something. I know I feel a little tired but I can just tell that there is an idea for this cubism poster that is just waiting to come out of my head. I can feel it... I know that sounds a little strange.

G

time for tea

2011-11-02T21:35:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I just need to blog, write, write something...

I need to get back to annotating. Annotation takes so long. I've got stuff due tomorrow which I've done. I need to get to the printers tomorrow to print out a poster which is on my Facebook so if you've seen it then you know what I'm talking about.

I feel like I need more sleep but I can't seem to fall asleep or feel remotely tired until around 12am now, which gives me around another 3 hours to get work done.

My Dad asked me what I want for my birthday this year since I'm going to be 19. I have some idea, maybe a light box or a magazine subscription to Animation Magazine. I only found out about that magazine a few days ago. A one year subscription is around $80 US or something like that.

Anyway, I should get back to work. I haven't been as productive as I would have liked to have been for the past two days, but I have got work done and from what I know from others at uni, I think I've done more work in terms of getting a lot of folio work done and stuff like that.

Also, on Monday and it being Halloween, a few people came to Uni dressed up to the lectures. It was funny and it just goes to show that "some people have no shame", as one of my friends was saying.

Ok, definitely getting back to work. I've got a pot of tea and my iTunes is playing, playing Vivaldi (late night assignmenting music).

G

type, type, type

2011-10-30T23:49:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Just a quick post before I go to bed. I'm working on putting together a folio for an assignment at the moment. I've done a lot of the annotation so it's mostly laying out the folio that needs to be fine tuned. Its nice being on top of the list of stuff to do for at least one assignment. I have another that I haven't really worked on all that much. I have Tuesday and Wednesday to get that to a decent point. They are due in 2 weeks, along with a painting that I have to do for another class. It's going to be based on Cubism... I think that is going to be interesting. I'm going to have to work in a newspaper cave again for that one. Luckily there is no folio for that, just the finished work and a 400 word rationale.

I'm getting really used to working with InDesign now and the file sizes are much much smaller than what they would be if I were using Illustrator.

I've been feeling a little stuck recently. I feel like I'm in 3 places at once and it's just a little confusing. The thing about it is that I know I shouldn't be confused and I just need to stay where I am if I'm going to get anywhere. It'll all fall into place, I just know it will. As for the timing, I'm not so sure about that. I've never really been accurate when it comes to timing. I need to keep focused on what I have to do, I even have a list.

I'm not sure if it will show up when I publish this post but right now I can see an orphan, a typographic orphan. I know that sounds a little weird if you're not familiar with type terms but it's not a good thing and in class we have been told to avoid them, which has resulted in some weird uncomfortable laughter on behalf of both the students and the tutor. It's even worse when you are working and laying out type and you see one and all you can think is 'shit'... it makes you feel and sound like a terrible person. If there are any type orphans or widows or hyphens in your work you lose marks immediately.

I should go, it's getting late and I have to make sure I wake up early enough tomorrow so I can straighten my hair because just a small part of it has decided to become a little more curled/wavy than the rest.

G

making stuff...

2011-10-23T19:46:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I am feeling pretty tired right now. I was up late last night (2am) making a 3D model for one assignment. I just wanted to get it done and out of the way. It is due on Thursday as a component of an interim assessment on Thursday. I surprisingly used math while I was making each part of the model. It was even more surprising that I remembered the formula for calculating the circumference of a circle, since I haven't needed to use that since last year.

I raided the hardware store up the road of paint colour swatches today. I was there for a good half hour this morning.

I'm so out of it and my writing is disjointed.

I have two interim assessments this week, both on Thursday, and a thing due on Friday. I have two lectures tomorrow and I have to go to those because if I don't then I won't understand anything in the tutorials.

I need to get back to work. I'm going to have to keep working to make up for the time that I won't be doing work tomorrow so I don't fall behind what needs to be done by Wednesday for printing.

G

...

2011-10-19T16:44:00.003+11:00

Dear Reader,

I just feel like blogging right now. I have two classes tomorrow. I need to kick the habit of pressing the snooze button on my phone. Woke up at 9am today after a 2 hour snooze fest.

Strangely I've been thinking about how much I miss being a kid. Being like 5 years old. Maybe because I don't remember much. There are pockets of memories but thats all.

I really feel like eating some ice-cream. Maybe just a small bowl.

G

how reflective can we be?

2011-10-16T19:23:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Had my first set of tutorial classes this week. Thursday classes were interesting, I have the same tutors for the two subjects on that day that I had for classes last semester and they both like my work and I know how they teach so no surprises there. Friday tutorial was kind of interesting. It starts at 12pm and goes till 3pm. We had to go to the Art Gallery of New South Wales. I got to class a few minutes early because on Monday the lecturer said that if you were late to class then they would leave without you. I was getting a little worried because the 501 was late, although thats nothing unusual. Everyone was in class, on time. It was 12:15 and we were wondering where the tutor was. It was 12:45 and we finally got a sheet for the lesson. The tutor still hadn't arrived. Another tutor told us what we had to do, so we made our way to the Art Gallery.

According to the sheet we had to be in pairs, so it somehow ended up that way. While I was filling out the sheet I ended up sitting on the floor, something I've never done before. The floor is cold, so I don't recommend it if you have to sit there for a long time. The tutor showed up, apparently there was a 'timetable mix-up'... Next week the class is supposed to go and take photos in Newtown, so I'm not entirely sure about how thats going to work and whether the tutor will actually show up.

There is something else that I would like to write about but I know that if I write it then I'm not really sure what I will do.

Anyway, for one subject so far we have to write this reflective journal for each week for 10 weeks. I have started that, just a word document for now. Then we need to make a collage thing for each week and combine that into a visual diary thing for the third assignment to be handed in at the end of the semester. For this subject I had to read a 43 page pdf which took around 3 hours today. The reflective journal part reminds me of the logbook that I did for my year 12 major work, so I'm not too worried about it, its just the collage bit that I'll need to think about. We were joking about it in class, about how if we don't work on it each week, we can reflect in like week 9 a whole bunch of swearing and panic. One friend/classmate from semester 2 is in both classes that I have on Thursdays, and he got the song Smooth Operator by Sade stuck in my head, along with a few other people. It was a step up from Fix You by Coldplay, but still...

Its also my Mums birthday in a few days, we kind of celebrated last night, nothing major, tea + cake and ice-cream after a movie. She had a persian orange cake, I had a ricotta canoli, they are the best.

I need to do some thumbnail drawings for an A3 poster. A poster to promote a font, the font is actually quite nice, it's called Hydrogen by Patrick Griffin. I'm considering buying it off fontshop.com because I really do like it, I'll have a think about it. I also need to create experiment with paints and inks but that stuff is at my Dads place.

I should go and get to working on those thumbnail drawings. I'll also annotate as I go like I did for an assignment last semester that really helped with time management. This blog is turning into the reflective journal for all my subjects.

G

i will try...

2011-10-12T10:16:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I can't get the lyrics to Fix You out of my head...

So my first tutorial classes start tomorrow. 10am so I should be able to wake up and be on time tomorrow. On Monday my alarm didn't wake me up. Luckily my Mum called me at 9am otherwise I would have probably slept until 12pm.

I only have two outlines so far out of the three subjects and I can see that there is a lot of work to do, but I'm kind of looking forward to doing them. It's kind of weird. There is one essay this semester, only worth 30% though, not 50% like the one in the first semester. I know that its good to get people to check for grammar and spelling and things like that but from every assignment so far that has been mainly focused on theory that I haven't had other people check, like my Mum, I've gotten higher marks. I got a HD for a theory assignment worth 50% for second semester. She asked if she could check it, I said that I'd be fine, and I was right. I also find it really stressful when I give things to my Mum to check. She gets too involved sometimes, and trying to explain one assignment can take as long as actually doing the assignment.

I have been working on that animation I wrote about in the previous post. I definitely know what I'm going to call it. From just the two lectures on Monday, I know that I won't get it done until next year, at least. Maybe in the two week break over Christmas, if I get everything done and up to speed for the assignments due in January then I might resume work on it then, or if I can manage any spare time during the semester. I've got maybe 10 seconds of frame-by-frame animation done so far, my skill is getting a little better as I keep going with it. I haven't even started drawing the second character/jellyfish yet.

I should go, it's only 10am now, I have been waking up at 7am now, so I should be ok for tomorrow. I am finding it a little difficult to fall asleep now, and I always kind of half wake up because I keep turning in my sleep. I'm feeling more awake than I was feeling a few weeks ago, so I think that I've caught up on my sleep. And I need to get out of the habit of pressing the snooze on my alarm.

I want to try and not pull an all-nighter this semester, although if I am up at 3am working on an assignment and I don't feel too tired and I'm alert, then I'll make me a pot of green tea to I stay awake.

G

p.s. my Mum told me something this morning and it became very clear to me that if I ever told her about Carl her head would combust, and it would not be pretty. Makes me laugh to think about it though, but thats just cruel

last day

2011-10-09T18:29:00.004+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today is the last day of semester break. I only have two lectures tomorrow and they start at 12pm. I have classes on Thursday and Friday so its not too bad. Trying to get a good timetable for this semester was a little tricky. I had to enrol online and the site was so slow to load and everyone was having problems either logging on or getting the page to even load.

I've almost got the digital folio done but I need to get some feedback from some tutors about it because I'm not sure if I've done it right or if I should have other work in there. I'd put another animation in there but I don't have a lot of process work to back up the final piece. There is the one I did in year 10 but there was absolutely no process to that. I didn't even have a storyboard. I just opened Flash and tried my best to create something that was 3 minutes long.

I did start a new animation last night though. I definitely won't get it done. Its a frame-by-frame animation where I want to draw each frame to a 'composition' that I recorded last week. The recording is nearly 5 minutes. Last night in around 2 hours I animated 4 seconds. It is only one 'character' based off two drawings that I did a while back when I was still in a kind of process of trying to forget. I know you might think, "Oh geez, really?". I'm not going to put like hearts and broken things in it. The character is like a jellyfish. I want to really try with this animation to improve my drawing and expression. Not sure if that makes total sense. I want to use perspective and distance and fluid movements. Just to try a different style because from the animations that I have done, they've all involved illustrator to make the backgrounds or photoshop to make the characters, I haven't just used frame-by-frame animation in Flash to make something and thats what I want to try, this will include all the text as well.

The recording does sound a little grainy when I turn the volume up but thats because of how I recorded it. Nothing technically superior, just using my iPhone to record. It adds to the style of the character so far and to the colours. It adds this sort of raw aesthetic. I wish I had more time during the break to make it, maybe on Tuesday and Wednesday I'll work on it before I get bombarded with assignments, which is most likely to happen.

I'm listening to the recording right now, it's just piano. I think I recorded it for the 'sad story' animation that I completed earlier this week. It was way too long and I didn't want to have to chop it up and stick it all back together. There are mistakes in there but I think that adds to the whole thing, and makes it imperfect.

Last night after I had been working for an hour re-drawing and re-drawing I tested the animation and I was just so happy, even thinking about it makes me want to cry a little, but not in a bad way. When you've found something that you love, it just makes you feel so whole and... not tired. I could have stayed up all night through the sunrise but I need to keep a limit on the nights that I do that because I know I'll need to do that sometime during this next semester.

I should get going.

G

sleeping, animating and eating

2011-10-04T14:41:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

It's the last week on the month semester break. I go back on Monday. It looks like I'll be going to uni on Mondays during semester 3. There are two compulsory lectures on. I'm going to try and have a tutorial after the lectures so I don't have to go to uni 3 days a week and only 2 again, it will also cut the cost of transport each week if I do this. If I manage to get two subjects on Wednesdays, I'll have a 4 day weekend and that will give me a good amount of time to work on assignments.

I finished the animation that I have been working on. It took 25+ hours to get done from storyboard to the final. To celebrate the completion of the animation I ate a Crunchy chocolate bar.

I really need to get started on the portfolio so I'll get started on that a little later today. Maybe just for some fun I'll cut together an animation reel of everything that I've done up to this point in time, including my very very very first animation that I did in school.

I have managed to kind of fix my sleeping pattern a little. I'm trying to go to sleep before 12am so I can at least wake up before 12pm everyday. The addition of daylight savings doesn't help too much but I think that I'm starting to adjust to it.

Not a lot has happened during this break. I've been sleeping, animating, and eating, and cleaning.

G

animation and the festival

2011-09-25T22:42:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

So yesterday and today I was at the UTS: Sydney International Animation Festival. I've seen a lot of great animation. There was the UTS student showcase, australian animation, animation from France and from all over the world. The animation that comes out of France is really good. When I found out about this only on like Thursday night, I really wanted to go, and because I am a student at UTS: Insearch, it only cost $25 to go to everything, and thats not expensive. I also know for a fact that if I do get an interview after I upload my portfolio (which I still have to put together) to increase my chances of getting into the course that I want to get into next year, they do ask questions about these sorts of things, like did you go? what did you like? and stuff like that, just so they know that you're actually interested in learning more.

The absolute highlight was seeing a screening of the film The Missing Key. It was 30 minutes in length and it was beautiful. It took seven years to make and it combines both 2D and 3D animation.

Overall, the discussions and the screenings have made me feel like I'm doing something right, if that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, I'm going to go, I would go to sleep but my hair is still drying.

I haven't been completing tutorials in Maya like I initially wanted to for this week. The story that I've been wanting to animate since June, I've started on. It is the sad story that I didn't want to animate 2 weeks ago but it was nagging at me. It's just one of those things that you feel like you have to do, and if you don't you'll regret it. When I was storyboarding it, it took me longer than I would have liked because I was having difficulties drawing out the story. I also feel so connected to this story that its something that I have to get right. I've done the backgrounds for most of it in Illustrator, all 19 of them, in a colour palate that I haven't used before but it kind of gives everything a nice aesthetic that I like. I am working in Flash because I know I can make something using that program, and from what I've learnt from the past two days, it doesn't matter what program you use, its the idea. Something along those lines.

OOOOOOOO

Sorry, I almost forgot. Yesterday morning, I had this feeling that I should logon to e-student to see if there were any marks posted up for semester 2. There were. I was so shocked and happy and I started to cry. I got a HD for the Zine assignment. I was mostly shocked in a good way because in the self-assessment I gave myself a D. I really wanted to do well in that assignment because it involved storyboarding and I think that my process for the storyboard was really good because I went through quite a bit of refinement of each page to get to the final storyboard. I should put that assignment in the portfolio purely for that reason.

I think it has been a very good weekend, even though it has been raining.

G

it makes me happy

2011-09-18T21:58:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

So I've been animating, and its been a lot of fun. I seem to have this smile on my face that I only can remember having while I create an animation and during a period of time earlier this year. Animating makes me happy. I wish I could animate more during the semesters at Uni though, but I have to spend so much time on each assignment, and I do like to sleep.

I need to re-animate quite a bit of what I've done because I'm not sure about the timing. A few more hours of work and then I'll need to add sound. Adding sound is going to be heaps fun, just some background foley, nothing too complex. I'd post up a screenshot of the animation but I keep getting an error when I try to upload a picture.

I'll be going back to my Dad's place tomorrow so I'll have access to Maya. I'm going to do some tutorials so I'll be more familiar with the program. There's about 20 chapters in the pdf that you can download from the Autodesk website to learn some basics in Maya and I'm up to chapter 6, which is a chapter on animation, so I'm kind of looking forward to that.

Aside from all that I keep thinking about this one day earlier this year. Every time I go to fall asleep, one moment, one memory from that day just keeps replaying in my mind and it's not that I want to forget it, I just want it to stop replaying over and over. It'll stop eventually, I know it will. Its just a matter of time.

I should go, I'm watching Aliens on TV at the moment.

G

...

2011-09-14T21:09:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I've been catching up on sleep. It has been great. Although I am having a little trouble going to sleep before 1am now, so I'm still trying to get my sleeping pattern back to normal.

I have been working on some tutorials in Autodesk Maya and it's been so much fun. I can't do any tutorials while I'm at my Mums though because I can't get my vmware to work on my macbook. I have been storyboarding an animation though so I'll get started on that tomorrow, or later tonight.

I don't know if you remember me writing not too long ago about the dreams starting. Well they kind of haven't. This is weird. I'm slightly unaware of myself, if that makes any sense at all.

This is just going to be a short post.

why am i still awake???

2011-09-10T01:17:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

I think my sleeping pattern needs major fixing. I know it is Friday night and it is 1am, but I would like to be a little tired by now.

I think uni assignments and staying up until 2am to get them done for around 2 weeks has messed with me. Just a little bit.

In other news, I have decided against animating the sad depressing story that I have been thinking about animating for a while because I was going through the story last night and I just can't pull myself to actually want to make it. I think that when I get my 3D animation skills going, I'll decide then. I should probably do a few tutorials in Maya during the break too. I wrote out a little story about an hour ago so I'll animate that one in Flash. I have an idea of how I want it too look. I'd like to get one animation done during this break. I'm thinking that this one shouldn't take me the entire month but I'll see how I go. I did start one last semester break but I've kind of lost motivation to do that one, and I can't remember where I left the storyboard for it.

I'll probably start working on it tomorrow. If I don't animate something this semester break I will actually feel miserable.

I should probably go to sleep now.

G

semester 2 is over!

2011-09-08T18:41:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I am happy to say that I have completed semester 2 :) I actually already have an idea for an animation that I have been contemplating for at least a month now. The story is really sad though, so I'll probably find myself crying trying to create it because the memories are so strong. I know I'll have to write out the story and then storyboard it.

The last assignment that I handed in today was really helpful. I had to do some storyboarding so now I think I know how to better approach storyboarding. I'm sitting here getting really excited but I know that I have to get some sleep as well.

I need to sort out a portfolio to submit online through uac so I can increase my chances of getting into the Bachelor of Design in Animation at UTS next year. I'm looking at the different courses that I can apply to through uac right now. It feels really weird not working on assignments now. I need to do something !!! maybe I should clean up my desk. Put some papers away. Yeah I'll do that.

The two massive folio assignments that I have been working on for the past month that were due today, were worth 40%. The one I had due on Tuesday was worth 50%. Others at uni see my work and they are like, "shit you've done so much", and they feel bad about their folios when they see mine so they just refuse to look at it. I tell them that I have no life outside of my room and I don't leave my room until I get it done.

Those are the two assignments that I had due today. The first photo is part of the final work for one. I hand drew 16 pages in pen and I cut out rabbit silhouettes, and I almost sliced my finger cutting those out. Those 16 pages took me an entire day to do. Creating the folio for that assignment in Illustrator was very interesting. The file size is like 513mb, so it's a little more than half a gig. The third photo is the other assignment that was due today. It was a music festival poster. I did create my own type for that so it was a lot of fun. I had to get the folio bound which I did yesterday. I did the folio in InDesign and it has more pages and the file size was only around 30mb. So I've come to the conclusion that I'm never using Illustrator to layout a folio because I was having mini heart attacks every time I went to save the Illustrator file.

I should probably start cleaning up my desk, and get rid of all the newspaper covering the other desk that I have.

I am going to love this month break, and before anyone gets jealous about my second semester being over, remember that I have another semester after the break that ends mid january. I get a two week break off at Christmas and I'm just hoping my birthday falls into that two week break because I do not want to have to go to class on my birthday.

I'll probably blog again sometime between now and Sunday because I have so much more time on my hands than I have had during the past month. Might sneak in some Sim time too.

after all, we are only human

2011-09-03T01:28:00.003+10:00

I think the floor is under that...

Dear Reader,

I know it is late, it's almost 1am where I am right now. I have been working on assignments. I have three due next week. One on Tuesday at 1pm. Two due on Thursday, 9am and 3pm. I don't feel that tired. I think I have adjusted my sleeping pattern to odd hours which I plan to fix after next Thursday.

I have a month semester break after next Thursday so I am very happy. I will probably spend a portion of it putting together my portfolio to upload onto UAC so I can increase my chances of getting in next year.

My floor of my room is literally covered in papers right now. I can barely see the rug. My Mum saw it and said that I needed an office. Truth be told I could do with a filing cabinet. That way I could really organise myself. I have covered my desk in newspaper, so I kind of feel like I'm working in a newspaper cave right now...

I went outside the house today for 2 hours. I made a trip to officeworks, then to Eckersley's, and then I walked from Townhall all the way down to where the UTS library is to get to the print shop to print off two A3 posters for an assignment. At least I know the final product is done, and all I have to do is layout the folio for it. I also have to bind it but I think I'll do that myself. It's going to cost enough just to print the damn thing. I have 60 pages in A3 to print out, and most of it is in colour, so it's not going to be cheap. If the printer at Insearch would actually connect to the network then I could print it for free but I don't want to risk it.

Before I left to go out today, I had to figure out how many A3 plastic sleeves I would need, thats what the picture is below, the landscape page is the one that needs the sleeves. I calculated exactly 50 sleeves. At $19 ish dollars for 25 sleeves. I spent quite a bit of money today just buying materials for the two major folio assignments. The portrait page is for the one that needs binding. You can literally see how much work needs to be put into both.

Oh crap!

The one due on Tuesday needs to be binder as well but I'll do that myself at home too, it'll just make my life easier knowing that I know I'll do it right, only because I have to include folded A3 sheets into the A4 binder document.

Anyway the reason why I wanted to blog was because it was recently September 2. It's been two years to the day that Cuddles passed away. I do miss her a lot, I don't know if anyone really gets how much my rabbits mean to me. I am only human and without them I would feel... empty. I'd feel a little lost.

I should get to sleep now I have pretty much finished writing what needs to be written for one assignment, all I have to do is lay it all out within the 60 or so pages so that it looks like a folio. I also have to make a powerpoint for the one due on Tuesday, not a fan of the powerpoint presentation.

G

the shell of distraction

2011-08-29T23:02:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I wanted to blog yesterday. I was up until 2am furiously typing out annotations for storyboard refinements for an assignment. I am so happy that my Dad bought an A3 printer/scanner. It has been so useful and the ADF makes scanning so much faster. I used it today. 15 A3 sheets, scanned within like a minute.

Anyway, I have three assignments due next week. I am happy that the 9th is the last day of semester 2. I'll have a month off and then I'll be back for another semester, ending in January 2012. I found out on thursday after I went to this meeting thing for Insearch students that there is going to be a new course next year at UTS, and I want in. It's going to be a Bachelor of Animation. The timing is perfect. I'm not really sure about the marks to get in as is it a new course, so I'm just going to keep my focus on getting a distinction average. There is also the option of submitting a portfolio too, I'm just not sure how they want that to be put together though.

I know I've said this before, and I'll say it again. This moving houses each week is disruptive. The only positive I see from it is that I need to be organised and it keeps me focused on getting tasks done on time, and plus it is a little entertaining hearing my Mum snoring on the couch. It's only frustrating because the majority of the things that I need to work really effectively are at my Dads place, but when I'm at my Mum's it is a lot closer to shops where I can go to buy things if it's 3pm and I realise that I need more double-sided tape. The time it takes to get to uni is the same, so there is no real difference there other than the cost of transport. Moving from place to place is the only way I can see both my parents equally and I know it would be unfair to choose just to be at one place.

I just don't feel that I can ever be really organised. I have two workspaces and sometimes I need something at my Dads, like tracing paper, and I realise that it's all at my Mums, it is disruptive.

There is just too much packing. Too many times where I've had to pack a suitcase. I've been packing this suitcase for at least maybe 8 years. When I put it like that, it's weird. It's exhausting. I don't think I've ever stayed in one place for an entire month. Ok, now I'm just scaring myself. I don't feel settled. Almost as broken as this family is.

I have to remind myself to stay strong and one of the things that is keeping my mind off this, is in fact Uni. The assignments work like a shell that distracts me temporarily from the weird facade that is this living situation.

I should go, and do a little more work before tomorrow.

G

every night while I sleep

2011-08-20T21:16:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know I should be working on assignments, I have three due in 3 - 4 weeks. Taking a bit of a break I guess, and I feel like blogging. I'll wake up early tomorrow to get the most out of the day. I've got maybe 10 things to do, 3 of which need to be done before Tuesday.

I feel stuck. I was wondering when I would reach this stage where the dreams (sigh) would start. I think they have. I think because I actually went out with this guy, there is so much more for my subconscious to process and slightly torture me with... Although last night the dream was quite funny. I was playing tennis against him, I hit the ball and let's just say that it hit him and he was in a lot of pain. I could tell that I was smiling from the dream because I found it absolutely hilarious. I also partially woke up and then fell back asleep and had another dream and referred to the previous dream... I know that sounds confusing and I've never actually had that happen before, where it feels like a dream within a dream after I've partially woken up after one dream and fallen asleep and had another.

That wasn't all that was to the dream though. There were those moments that were replicated from real life. If I can remember what the dream is associated with in real life, it makes me less confused, and I don't worry about it so much because I know that I'm only dreaming these things because it's what I miss the most. The comfort and the feeling of a little bit of security when he wrapped his arms around me, or when he couldn't take it anymore and just had to hold my hand... sigh. The only problem is that whatever happens in the dream, I feel every emotion, everything. But then I wake up and I know that I don't have to dream until I go to sleep again.

Aside from that I've set myself a food goal. Until I hand in my last assignment this semester I will not eat chocolate. I've decided to leave drinking hot chocolates as ok but not pieces of chocolate, or in other words, a whole Aldi size block of chocolate in one go... I feel that this will make me more conscious of what I'm eating even if it is just chocolate. It also makes me feel a little sick if I eat even a little sometimes, and by a little I mean one piece of chocolate. I'm going to have to be strong about this, because I know that I can do it.

G

two folders, a dinner, and an unexpected surprise

2011-08-13T22:18:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know I should have written last Sunday, I was working on two assignments which I handed in on Thursday. I had 79 A3 plastic sleeves in a folder for one and about 30 for the other. It was a lot of fun carrying those on the train in the morning...

Anyway last week on Thursday the 4th at 11:53pm, I got a text message that freaked me out just a little bit. Can you guess who it was from? Really just take a guess before you keep reading. Got it yet?

Well it was from Carl. I was only awake at that hour to get the two assignments done. Before I explain what the text was about just let me refer back to Fiji. In Fiji I met a lot of people including Carl and one of the other guys who lives in Brisbane came down to Sydney last week for a week.

So to basically sum up. Last Saturday I was invited along with my Mum to go to a dinner with him and a bunch of other people who were at Fiji including the guy who came down from Brisbane for a visit. I know this sounds confusing.

So I was sitting at the table adjacent from Carl and to be perfectly honest, it was just nice to catch up and talk about uni and how horrible public transport is/can be. He was happy for me knowing that I had gotten away from a few people that I was stuck with in Semester 1 and that I was surrounded by more supportive uni friends. My Mum still doesn't know anything and I'm really hoping that he hasn't said anything to anyone. I really do think it's just best if it stays this way.

In other news, I had a 2 hour driving lesson today. I drove on the M5 and when I was going through Moore Park I got pulled over by the police. Not for anything reckless. It was a random breath test. The instructor told me that normally it doesn't happen. I guess I'm just that special. When I told my Dad that I was pulled over by police his facial expression was absolutely priceless. When I elaborated on the fact that it was a random breath test, he was still a little confused.

ALSO, on Wednesday night after I had stay up until 4am on Wednesday to get two assignments done so I could go out during the day on Wednesday to get them printed in A3, my Dad comes home with an A3 printer !!! which was a very nice surprise and I am so happy because it is an A3 scanner/photocopier/printer. I'm definitely going to need the scanner for the next three assignments. I only have about another 4 weeks until this semester is over and I really need a HD average for at least one subject.

It's been an eventful few weeks. I probably won't blog tomorrow but definitely next Sunday.

G

red paint all over

2011-07-31T23:40:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

I almost forgot it was Sunday. I think staying up until 12am or 1am, I think it's been 1am... every night to get work done for uni assignments during this one week break off has made me confused as to what day it is.

I have so much stuff to do but for maybe 20 minutes I think I'll sneak in some sim time because I need to reward myself for my hard work this week. I have almost done everything that needs to be put into the folios but I still have about a week and a bit before everything is due.

Anyway, my brain is turning to mush so I'll be going. However I must say that I do not like driving my dads car, still. I really don't want to own a Mercedes when I do end up getting my own car. I just don't like driving it.

And as the title suggests, there is red paint all over my hands. Uni...

G

like dust

2011-07-24T18:14:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

I'm on my mid-semester break for uni right now. I haven't done much work on uni assignments though. My focus has split itself into two for today so I'll get back to it tomorrow.

I'm really unsure about what I need to do. Not unsure about uni or anything like that but unsure about other things. Maybe I just need to get a little more sleep but, for the past few nights I've been having trouble falling asleep and getting my heartbeat to just steady itself. I'm not waking up at odd hours of the night like I was earlier this year, thankfully. That was really exhausting.

My dreams are clearer than before but when I wake up I don't remember them like I used to. That can be seen as a good thing but it just feels like my memory is failing me when it used to be so strong. Although I am happy I'm not having nightmares anymore. I remember I actually woke up startled from a dream, only once though, this year. My heart felt like it was caught in my throat.

I know one thing for sure though, I need to cut back on eating chips and biscuits and gelato because they aren't good for me. I think I might start straightening my hair for the rest of winter though, it seems to not react so much to the rain when I'm out like I was yesterday with my mum during the day.

In all honest truth I am staring at this keyboard just wanting to write about that dreaded topic, so please stop reading or bare with me.

Yesterday was exactly 3 months since I last saw him. That whole thing has been a little emotionally draining and I feel like I have so much to give but there is nothing on the other side. I know that this year I need to focus on uni, its just like I'm looking at this mirror and there's just this speck of dust that isn't going away.

G

it's just not right

2011-07-17T23:44:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know it is late and I should get to sleep but I don't feel tired as of yet.

I really don't know what to write about another than a subject that frustrates me, still.

It has taken me a week to get my energy back from my nights of not much sleep. I'm happy that I have a mid-semester one week break which will give me time to get most of my work done so I don't have to lose sleep over the next few weeks.

I've got a moodboard to do tomorrow and I'm pretty much set for this weeks tutorial classes. I have to fine tune a part of a speech for a group assignment due Tuesday and I just hope the other team member that is working on the other half of the speech gets it done.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, group assignments... they are not my favourites.

I drove my Dad's car again today, he is really terrible at giving direct directions. "At the roundabout, 3 o'clock"... he meant turn right. Just say turn right, don't get time mixed up in it. I really don't like driving his car because it is so heavy and its ridiculous when you want to accelerate, it's like I'm dragging boulders along with the car.

I've been having weird dreams... weird as in, the people in them, I haven't seen for years. I'm walking along a street with them and just talking though, quite casual really...

I should go.

G

Difficult

2011-07-10T16:35:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

To be frightfully honest, working on those two assignments last week have really made me tired. I also have two new assignments as well, which I have started a little, just a few bits of research here and there so I don't feel like I'm wasting the entire weekend.

Friday night was really difficult, I couldn't figure out why but I was just an emotional mess.

I really feel way too tired to write out everything because I'm probably just going to end up being a big mess all over again.

G

...and now it's time for a nap

2011-07-06T15:30:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

For the past... well since Thursday night I have basically hermitized myself to my room to get two folio assignments done for uni. They are both due tomorrow and I am very happy to say that approximately 30 minutes ago, I finished.

The first assignment is based around creating graphic compositions with typography. I had to make two 20cm x 20cm mounted designs which took two days to complete. The folio wasn't too bad although when you have to annotate absolutely everything it takes a while.

There is not enough newspaper!

The second assignment, in essence was to create a visual metaphor of your sense of yourself. I just finished that one today because I had to get the folio printed in A3. 13 black and white, 2 colour and a good colour copy of the 'visual metaphor', in A3 only cost me $14.40, so I am very happy as I had to buy paints, ink, paintbrushes and spray adhesive to make the final work which cost too much even though I got them cheaper than normal. I also used broken/used violin strings in my visual metaphor so I had a lot of fun gluing those down... My hands had more spray adhesive on them than the strings did by the end of the night. I finished the final work at 12am this morning, on the dot. I also had to write a rationale which is basically an arty statement saying how it is a visual representation of myself, and a reflection which I finished at 2am this morning.

I covered the separate desk I have here with newspaper and I tried to cover the walls with the newspaper too, but somehow bits of watercolour and gouache paint ended up on the walls. This only happened because I was flicking the paint onto the paper. I took down most of the newspaper covering the walls before I took the photo.

Anyway, that assignment was actually quite fun because I got to play and experiment with paints and ink, and oil pastels. However getting paint under your fingernails is not so much fun when you go to wash your hands.

I also went to sleep at 2am this morning. I wanted to wake up at 8am so I had at least 6 hours of sleep but I woke up at 7.30am and thought, the sooner I wake up the sooner I'll be done so I might as well just get up now. On the train going to the City to get to the print shop, I almost fell asleep waiting for the train because I am so tired.

I think it's time for a well deserved nap as I have been going to sleep around 12am since Thursday night and waking up early to get as many hours out of the day as possible to get the two assignments done.

I wanted to blog on Sunday but I was so busy getting these two assignments done that there was just no time to blog at all.

I am beyond tired at this point.

G

confused in the focus

2011-06-26T22:01:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

The past week has been interesting. In one class we were painting with black ink and that was a lot of fun. I came home and did a few little ink paintings for fun and because it had been a long day at uni and I needed to get my mind off things.

I drove my Dad's car today. I drove the Mercedes. I didn't crash it or anything so it's all good. I did get lost though and my Dad had to get out the GPS to find our way back. He wasn't telling me where to go, so I just kept driving. I almost did 2 hours of driving today.

I have also been working on assignments and one of them is due on Tuesday. It's a reflection. I'm almost done. I just have to reflect a little more. I realised in essence what this blog is, it's a big reflection of my life. This is the 202nd published post on this blog. 202 published posts under blogger.

I'm trying so much to keep my focus on uni, its just not as easy as it used to be during semester one. I wasn't sleeping as much then but my focus was stronger. With more sleep I can't seem to focus as much. I just feel confused at this point in time and I don't quite know what to do. Continuing from last weeks blog (sigh), the whole different stages thing is still circling in my mind. I'm starting to think about how stupid and naive it was to think that a guy like him would want to go out with a girl like me even if he does think that I am an awesome person.

Anyway, I really don't want to keep writing about that.

I need to get back to writing this reflection for uni, so I have tomorrow to read over it and make it better than it is right now.

take another step

2011-06-19T18:55:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I feel stuck. Wow I just realised that tomorrow is June 20. A two month hurdle on a Monday. I don't mean to sound sarcastic or anything but, great... Sorry I have had a whole packet of tim tams today and too much toast.

I need to stop writing about this subject matter but it is so difficult to concentrate for long periods of time in order to get uni work done. Mostly due to the fact that what needs to be done is reading and these readings are really boring.

I've been thinking more about the whole reason behind what happened and what could be the actual lesson behind it. Its not the whole 'even nice guys are sometimes jerks' or anything like that. We are all human and we all have faults and imperfections and we make mistakes. I think it's got to do more with knowing what I want. The only sad thing about this is that I felt that I was so close. It's frustrating, just a little bit.

There are all these things that I want to write about from that small period of time however short it was, and they are all things that make me smile. He may not think that he is 'right' for me but I'd have to disagree, it is 'wrong' if I say something that he is thinking at that second? or 'wrong' if I make things for him that take so much thought and effort? or 'wrong' if I choose not to wear a piece of jewellery that is really important to me because it freaks him out a little? Those are just three things that are all true.

The jewellery one, I just kept it in my pocket one time, and it only freaked him out because it looked like an eye that could 'see into his soul'. I still wear that piece of jewellery along with another one everyday because, they are both important to me and even though they remind me of him it doesn't matter.

The 'different stages of our lives' thing really has just made me feel a little young and stupid but those feelings of stupidity are kind of generic and I know I'm not stupid.

I feel like I'm sounding like a broken record, to me anyway, but I miss him. It's like when you miss being around someone, just because.

I should go, I know this post isn't really what I hoped it would be but it's another stepping stone of sorts for this year. I remember thinking earlier this year that things would be different and when I met him I thought that it would definitely be different. This year has been different so far, just not the type of different I initially thought it would be.

G

that was surprising

2011-06-15T19:28:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I went to the event last night. Much to my surprise, C wasn't there. I was there with my Mum to support a friend because it was his event.

When I walked in I was kinda of weary. I didn't quite know what to expect. When I realised that he didn't show up, I was a little relieved. On the way in the car I was thinking, "have I dug myself into a hole?" considering the fact that my Mum doesn't know. Luckily I have dodged the hole for now.

I have to keep my focus on studying this year and currently it is just a little difficult but it will get easier if I just keep my eye on the end. I just have to keep going no matter what. I know I said this at some point earlier this year, I said it to C, so I'm going to keep my word.

I'll keep this post short.

G

I'm getting there

2011-06-12T23:31:00.076+10:00

Dear Reader,

Its Sunday, I only just realised this like 20 minutes ago... Sunday is becoming my blog day/night, its giving me something to do before the new week starts.

I haven't been able to work on the final animation for as much as I would have liked over the past week. I have been cleaning my Dads place because he agreed to pay me to clean it. Cleaning didn't just involve vacuuming and dusting. It involved, moving things around, cleaning/scrubbing every surface, vacuuming, dusting, and putting things away. It took 6 hours to clean the kitchen and get it in reasonable order. Another 6 to get the dining area cleaned up and another 5 to get the lounge area cleaned up. So I spent a total of 17 hours over 3 days cleaning the place and I didn't even get to the hallway. I got paid around $150 for it, so thats like $9 per hour. I told my Mum how much I got paid and she said, "he didn't pay you enough"... he is paying for driving lessons, so I'm OK with this.

Cleaning the place has made me very tired and there was a lot of picking up of heavy objects and moving them.

Anyway, I have managed to get about 4 hours of work done on the animation tonight and I've done about 40 seconds. All the backgrounds have been placed within the timeline at the timed points to the music score so at least I know exactly how many frames I'll be using.

I should get to sleep because my eyes are so close to permanently closing.

I go back to uni on Tuesday, starting at 1pm. I hope I can find the room in the building for the class.

I'm feeling a little nervous about Tuesday night. I'll be going to this event with my Mum, and Carl will be there. She doesn't know about me and him so it'll make me more determined to act normal, because if she does find out, it can go two ways, neutral or bad. Her impression of him is that he is a good person who wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone. I'm her daughter and I know that by her knowing about what medium he used to tell me what he said, would destroy that view of him, and it would be wrong to destroy that. Plus, what he did was just a bad decision and he did apologize. Can you honestly in your heart of hearts say that you have never made a bad decision? I know that I've made bad decisions, and I'm probably going to make a few more along the road.

I really don't know how I'm going to react if I see him, I really don't know. For a while I have been missing him, it's all a part of the process of moving past this. I've gotten past the point where it's really upsetting because I figured out what it was that I missed when I was hanging out with him. It was so simple. I guess the simplest of things are sometimes the most difficult to recognize. It was something that I'd never had before and no it may not be what you are thinking. Just thinking about those moments makes me smile, because I can't help it. I really can't help it. It's not a bad thing or anything like that, sometimes I remember things from the past before this year and I react in the same way.

I'll blog again on Wednesday I remember to.

Ok, I should really get some sleep now. I do feel a little hungry though but I'm way too sleepy to cook anything without falling asleep and burning it in the oven or on the stove.

G

It's almost the end of break

2011-06-07T10:43:00.036+10:00

Dear Reader,

Ok, before I start, did blogger change or what? I log in this morning and it's all so different... Anyway.

I have been animating another short, titled Blue. I started it on Saturday night without a storyboard and worked on it for about 3 hours, on Sunday I drew out the storyboard which took 1 hour (I think), animated for about 2 hours and then later that evening animated for another 3 hours. Monday I spent about 5ish hours finishing it off and then another hour putting the sound together. So around 13 hours spent in Flash and the animation is 2 minutes and 1 second long. I am happy that I'm developing animations that are getting longer and I'm developing the habit of needing to storyboard something before I just jump right in.

I was inspired by the Resource Central in Adobe Soundbooth. There are so many sound effects to be found and music scores as well that are royalty-free according to the Adobe website. So this makes me very happy. I was listening to the scores and the Horror one caught my attention. The Horror sound effects are just a little creepy. Curiosity got the better of me and I have some idea now of what an eyeball being squished would sound like... It's not pretty.

My relationship with Adobe Flash and the exporting feature to make a Quicktime Movie file isn't at it's best. No matter what setting, the keyframe number, the quality setting, or the compression setting, there is still frame dropping and it is driving me insane.

Anyway, tomorrow I will find out my timetable for semester two as I go back next week. I've had a month semester break because I didn't have any exams.

I don't know if you remember but my Mum is paying me to clean the house, the job isn't ideal but it only takes 2 hours, and I get $30 at the end of it. I asked my Dad if I could do the same here, however I don't quite know if there are enough hours in the day to clean this place to get it clean. He hasn't got back to me with an answer but if he does say yes then it means that I'll have enough money to cover transport costs to and from uni as well as course materials without having to dip into my savings. Studying at Insearch means that I don't get travel concession this year which is completely stupid. If I was doing 20 hours a week then I would but I'm not.

I plan to get one more animation done this week at least so it would bring the total finished this semester break to 6. I don't think it'll be Houdini's Story part 3, that will always be there and maybe next semester break I'll get it done.

All I have to do now is storyboard out my idea.

G

It's up

2011-06-04T19:45:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I just posted up the animation onto my Facebook.

I had another driving lesson today. I can do a reverse park.

G

sometimes it's just difficult, but I get past it and realise that it's all for the better, but sometimes, just sometimes I wish it was different...

Done and done

2011-06-03T19:59:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I feel like writing and I have been animating profusely this week. In my previous post I wrote about starting another animation that I storyboarded out, and I pretty much finished it today. I think I should add more sound effects though because it is quite silent. It's the longest animation that I've made with a storyboard, 1 minute and 40ish seconds.

I'm waiting for my Mum to get home and depending on her reaction to the animation, it will sway me to either post it up on my facebook or not.

This is going to be completely beside the point, and a completely random question. Have you ever felt like you've been in the right place at the right time but also at the wrong time?

G

p.s. well my mum came home, I think that I'll post it up on facebook, just so you can see what I've been up to in the past few days.

Animated...

2011-05-29T22:02:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

There are other things that I want to write about in this post but I'll keep those to myself because I need to.

In animation news, I did finish the other project that I was talking about. I storyboarded it in about 2 hours and then the next day I spent working in Flash (without it crashing on me) and got most of it done. I was feeling a little sick with a headache and some sniffles but I pushed myself to get it done and I got it done, I kept myself hydrated by drinking lots and lots of water throughout the day. I'm happy with it, however the exporting into a Quicktime file took forever and it seems almost impossible to get an exported video without frames dropping. I wasn't successful in getting a clean video without dropped frames but it's clean enough. The entire animation goes for about 1 minute, 7 seconds. With sound.

I then wanted to start another project. I storyboarded it out, 36 storyboard frames done. I've done some work in Flash and I created the backgrounds in Illustrator yesterday before I had to go to a dinner.

I'm feeling a little tired right now so I'm not entirely up to working on it some more right now. I seem to work best after 9.30pm until around 12.30am or even till 1am.

I know this may sound weird but there has only ever been one person who really asked me and wanted to know why I love animation and animating. That one person.

G

That One Decision

2011-05-25T10:59:00.003+10:00

Dear Reader,

Even though today isn't Sunday, I just thought that I should blog.

May 25 2009 was a dark day for me. Around this time of day too. I don't know if anyone remembers what happened on this day. It was a day where I made the wrong decision and sometimes that decision still haunts me but it has taught me to really listen to myself and to understand what needs higher priority.

If I can get through today without anything remotely similar happening then I'll know for sure that this year, 2011 won't be a repeat of 2009, emotionally. This year is different, and even when I'm feeling down and it seems just a little too difficult, it doesn't matter because the only thing that is making it difficult are the thoughts that it's difficult.

Sometimes I can't help but think of the worse and I think it so much that I feel the pain associated with those thoughts, the tears, the anger, the sadness. I guess in my darker days, it's all I can do to make sure that I still have a pulse and that I haven't died. But then I take a deep breath, and let it go and I'm back to a better place. We all have our demons. It's just a matter of how we deal with them.

That's all I have to say right now about that.

I did finish Houdini's Story Part 2 yesterday. I want to get started on Part 3 but I really want to get going with the other project. The flower in this post will be in the other project, which I still need to storyboard out which should be easier because I have done some backgrounds for it.

That's it for now.

G

It's been an... eventful week

2011-05-22T18:57:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

So I have been on semester break. I'm at a loss for words. I feel a little exhausted.

I did make a short animation on Friday night that took about 4 hours to make. I'm happy with it. It's not the story that I talked about before. It's something that I made from 3 drawings that I drew a few years ago. The animation is only 16 seconds but it could be a little longer with some credits. I wanted to work more on Houdini's story but I left the storyboard at my Dads place.

Anyway, the reason why I'm feeling exhausted is because of what happened basically one month ago. I think I'm finally at the end point, which is surprising because sometimes I just don't know how long it will take to get here. There hasn't been tears, I'm tired of crying and it's just not worth it. I think confronting him helped because there isn't that constant reoccurring thought of why he said what he said in the way that he said it. If I hadn't done what I did, then I don't quite know where I would be right now.

I'll be looking forward to just spending tomorrow by myself because I need a day where I just do whatever.

I met up with some people from uni yesterday and we went ice skating. Ice skating is so much fun.

I don't really feel like writing much else although my Mum has been saying things this week that are kind of freaking me out considering what has happened, that I haven't told her about, nor do I intend to.

We were watching tv and a commercial came on about babies. She says to me, jokingly (I hope), "so when are you going to have one?"... "am I going to be a grandma soon". I hope for my sake at this point in time, no she won't be. She actually asked me on the Sunday after I had confronted Carl, if there were any boys who were interested in me and I just thought, 'are you serious?'. I just said no and continued to eat my lunch. She said to me today, "it's better to have someone who wants to do stuff with their life..." as in a guy, and I just want to slap her sometimes its so stupid. We went into Lisa Ho at Chatswood Chase today and there are some nice dresses in there. She went on to say that you could even wear one as a wedding dress. I agree because some of those white dresses are pretty, she went on to say "keep that in mind"... This week has been... eventful.

Anyway, I think that's about it for now.

G

It's almost here

2011-05-15T20:22:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

Semester break is nearing. After Tuesday night I will be on semester break. I would be on break now but I have an assignment due on Tuesday. It is a group assignment and I have done my part and put it all together in the folio. I am meeting up with the other group member tomorrow so we can get the rest of it done and printed.

As a reward to myself I played The Sims 3 today. Only for about 2 hours though. Might play again tonight if I don't get another email from the group member.

I had another driving lesson yesterday and I did drive home. I came across my first roundabout and my first set of lights as I drove across Canterbury Road to drive back home down some quiet streets. Next week I will be driving down Canterbury Road... so if you know that you'll be on Canterbury Road between 11:30am - 12:30pm next Saturday, stay at home.

I've been listening to music constantly during the past few days, especially last night. It's the only way I know how to work on an assignment. It keeps my head level and grounded and it keeps me awake and relaxed at the same time. And I always find myself singing along to the music too or tapping my fingers on my desk.

I should go work on my animated project some more. I'm thinking about the colours I used for one of the backgrounds that I outlined and coloured in Illustrator. I'm just not sure about the colours so I'll have a think and fix it. I should get to working on a storyboard because right now the animated short in my mind is a little jumpy.

I'm looking forward to using my 3D board when I get to my Mum's place on Wednesday. I have this idea for a drawing that I would love to do.

Anyway, I just feel like I need to play The Sims again because it had been 3 months since I last played and I have my 27-inch screen to play it on here.

G

Just one of those days

2011-05-11T21:48:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

You know when you just have one of those days, or rather one of those afternoons? The type of afternoon where you have a really bad emotional relapse that results in a breakdown? Well, I had one of those and I'm still feeling a little deflated.

I know that this deflatedness will pass because tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow will be a lot more awesome than today.

I think this cold has something to do with it too, it's just making me feel a little more tired than normal.

On a completely random note, well maybe not it does kind of relate. I was contemplating the different kinds of happiness earlier which kind of lead me to feel a little deflated and sad so it is kind of ironic when you think about it.

Anyway, I should get back to re-reading my essay which I would like to hand in tomorrow and adding things to my speech for a group presentation although most of what I'm thinking can be said off the top of my head.

G

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T20:18:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I am tired and I do have a cold :( I'm not really a fan of taking cold tablets to get better, but I have taken some because I needed to be able to concentrate on working on these assignments. I slept in till 10am today which I haven't done in a long time but I was still surprisingly productive and got what I needed to get done today.

Today is Mother's Day. My Mum is in Hong Kong at the moment so I didn't get to see her and she won't be back for another week at least. She did call me this morning though, on the phone, via skype. We talked on the phone for nearly an hour, by talk I mean her talking and I listen. I did tell her about my driving lesson. I told her about an assignment mark for a group presentation which was a HD and her response was, "good"... She talked about how when bad things happen, there's a lesson behind it that we have to learn. That couldn't have been more relevant considering that thing that happened a few weeks ago. I haven't told her about it and I really don't intend to unless its a life or death moment because I need to emotionally grow by myself when things like that happen.

She wants to plan a trip with me to Hong Kong around Christmas and I really want to go. It would be nice to pack my suitcase and actually have the full intention of visiting another country.

I should go and rest. I need to go out and get an assignment back tomorrow before class on Tuesday.

I hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day :)

G

Getting Behind the Wheel

2011-05-07T19:54:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

Today has been a little exciting. I went for my first driving lesson. My instructor said that I was a quick learner and that I was doing great. He said at the beginning of the lesson that if I was doing well that he would ask if I wanted to drive back home. He did ask at the end of the lesson because we "hadn't died", but I said no because I kind of didn't want to be driving on Canterbury Road in the middle of the day and I had never driven a car before today. It was a really nice day weather wise though.

I know I shouldn't say his name, but the name starting with C came to mind before the lesson because he had said a while back, "I could teach you how to drive" so my brain automatically switched to that moment. I won't lie, I do miss him a little but I guess it's because it's a Saturday.

Anyway, when I was driving I was completely relaxed and I wasn't freaking out or anything even when I did go a little too fast uphill while turning right and nearly drove over the median strip but luckily that didn't happen.

I haven't really done that much work on assignments so far. All I have to do is some research, annotate it and put it all together so I can be prepared for next class on Tuesday. I need to further edit my 1762 word essay draft which I would like to hand in on Wednesday, and I need to just work on a speech for a group presentation on Thursday. My semester break starts basically after next week, there is one thing that I have to hand in the week after but thats a group work thing which is going well.

And so the semester break will actually be 4 weeks which is absolutely perfect, so I can have some time to myself to work on personal projects. I have been kind of working on one for the past few days because I had the idea and I wrote it all down and I knew that if I didn't work on it now, I would regret it so much and my brain would melt because I really need to work on something that will progress into an animation. It's based on a true event that happened to me a few years ago. It's a happy memory and whenever I think about it, it makes me smile just a little. I'll definitely post it up here and maybe on my Facebook page if I'm feeling daring and if I get it done.

It has been a long time since I last played The Sims 3, so I will definitely be playing that when the semester break starts because the last time I played was in orientation week, at the start of February.

I think I am getting a bit of a cold so I'll try my best to stay warm and drink lots of tea, and not stay up too late.

I might blog tomorrow but I just thought that today was great so I'd post up about it.

G

p.s. Happy Mothers Day for tomorrow :)

Is that really the time?

2011-05-04T00:23:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know it is really late/early. Currently it is 12:16am and I don't feel that tired but I don't feel that awake either. I'm kind of stuck between "I want to sleep" and "I feel awake".

I finished my essay draft on computer games and submitted it online to this website thats checks for plagiarism. My percentage was 10% because it highlighted the reference list and the footer of the document which is odd. Other than that it didn't highlight anything in the actual essay as plagiarised so I am happy with that because it means that I referenced correctly.

I really do want to get some sleep so maybe I'll just go to bed and wait until I fall asleep. I know that once I'm asleep I'll be fine and my eyes are getting a little sleepy now.

Goodnight,

G

In Abundance

2011-05-01T16:51:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know it is Sunday and I also know that this week I have been blogging a lot. The weekend feels a little slow. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I did venture outside on Friday to the library to borrow books for the essay assignment, so it kind of broke up the continual time of staying inside.

I have eaten way too much chocolate during the past few days and as a result I am gaining some weight. I think I might just cut back a little bit so I don't gain too much weight because I really do want my new jeans to still fit, they are only a week old.

Yesterday when I didn't really want to work on my assignments I sorted out the space around my desk so it is a little more organised. I put subject things into magazine holders and began to stick things to the new cork board as I was sorting through the stuff on my desk. I have an abundance of post-it notes and a flying saucer container full of paper clips.

I still haven't heard from the other team member for this group assignment and there is something due on Tuesday and I can't work on it until she replies with an answer, which I sent on Thursday... I don't understand why this particular assignment had to be in a team because it can be done by one person. It's just a little frustrating.

Anyway, I should go and continue working on my assignments.

G

I've just been feeling... Happy

2011-04-29T23:34:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know it is late but I don't want to sleep just yet.

I don't know what it is but recently I have just been feeling... happy. I'm finally actually sleeping at night. I slept without waking up at a ridiculous hour last night and the night before. I think that liking a certain person was bad for my health, sleep wise.

I'll keep this post short and just update you on what my exciting essay assignment is about. It is about computer games and I've been looking at books that are talking about The Sims and SimCity so I am more than happy to write 1500 - 2000 words on an essay on computer games and how they have contributed to how we function in our modern day practices. It's interesting reading about the design behind games.

The draft is due next week, on Wednesday I think and its compulsory. I have an outline of a sort so I know what to write about.

I also have another two things due next week. Both are team work assignments. For one I still haven't heard a reply and I need her to answer my email so I can continue working on it. The other is a group of 4 including myself and its basically taking what we wrote in our essays on the designer client relationship and presenting an argument. The designer client relationship essay was based upon the issue of whether the designer or client should maintain a more prominent role within the relationship to achieve a successful design outcome for the client. From the source texts that I chose to use, the position that I chose was for the client to have a more prominent role but there was also the side where both the client and designer should have equal prominence which is ideal in some cases, however in the end the client makes the final decision. Anyway, this is sounding too technical and I should really get to sleep.

Until Sunday, or whenever I next post.

G

p.s. keep smiling, even if you look a little silly :)

The Sole Purpose

2011-04-26T15:06:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I don't know if you've noticed but this blog looks a little different but it's still the same. After much thought I decided to change just a few things.

I've been thinking, and I know that those three words are kind of dangerous territory for me but I've been thinking about the purpose of this blog and how I think that behind every decision there are at least three reasons to back every decision. I'm not entirely sure if I have written about this before but I think I may have but its time for a refresher. I'm going to be very blunt in a way and share things that I would never want most people to see but I don't want to hide it anymore.

So the purpose of this blog as I see it right at this very moment in time is purely and simply, well not too simply but simply this. It started back in 2009 and here it still is in 2011. I know that in a small way I have grown emotionally and I've grown up just a little. I mean seriously, with what happened on Wednesday, if this was at the same time as last year I probably wouldn't be feeling as strong as I am right now, I wouldn't have gone and confronted him at all, and I wouldn't be looking at the future and thinking thats its not the end of the world.

This blog is kind of like an emotional journey (I really didn't want to use that word but its the only word that I can think of right now), that I can look at, and see where I was and where I am now. Being exposed to all the great things that I have been thanks to my Mum mostly with all the things she's brought me to see about mindset and just generally good thinking about life it has all kind of just finally sunk it and it makes me feel like a happy person, which I know hasn't been the case for a very long time. Before I'd think and pretend that I was happy but in a real sense I wasn't. But now for sure even when there are those darker sadder days, I know for sure that tomorrow even if it's still the same and its not that great that I'll be OK because in life with everyone and everything there is always going to be a balance of good and bad and without that balance there is something very wrong.

I used to think especially back in 2009, one of the worst years of my life at that point, being only 16, that somewhere it would get better but I felt disconnected to a point where I kind of lost that positive thought. I really felt like I was falling apart. I have up to a certain extent kept an actually diary, notebook and pen diary. It's strange because I'm looking at my diary right now and I'm reading these exact words from November 18th 2009,

I really just want to get to the end so that maybe a happier story can start. I know things happen for a reason, I believe that it's so. I just don't know why these things are happening. Is there some big surprise waiting for me? I guess we'll wait and see.

I also have another notebook that has hardly anything in it. The only things in it are very reflective of how I felt back in 2009 and 2010. They are in fact poems. Really depressing poems. The last two lines of a poem I wrote November 22nd 2009,

Please, I wish to sleep in tears for no more nights.

I am drowning.

That poem may not come across as the most depressing thing in the universe but to me it's kind of shocking but seeing that, I know I never want to go back there.

Even in 2010 I still felt disconnected. I'm reading what I wrote back in 2010 on May 11th 2010,

I feel so lost. I've felt like that for a while now. I just don't feel a part of anything..... I'm trying to keep myself from spiralling out of control.

I don't even remember writing any of that but it's all there in my red notebook, written in black ink.

So this blog is really like the evolution of me in a sense. An evolution for others to see because I don't want to hide how I feel anymore.

Ok, so the three reasons thing applies heavily to this blog and why I still post up even when I know that not many people read it. I post because it makes me feel heard. I post because I know if I don't I'll regret it. And I post because it's a part of me that is a constant.

Now, a constant for me is something that is certain and sure and I know I can control it. Shifting from two places basically every week makes me feel out of control even though I know where I'm going and how long I'll be there for. I've packed a suitcase at least 500 times in my life and I've only gone overseas once. I realised this yesterday and it did make me cry. I know that this won't be forever. I know that later on when I do move out of my home(s), that it will be a big step and I won't feel the need to hate Monday's anymore. It was asked by a guy who's name starts with a C that if I ever moved out would I need two rooms just to feel normal. I told him that it never feels normal.

I may not feel normal about it but I can't chose between parents. It's a cruel choice not to live with one parent based on the something that makes me feel abnormal in a sense but I've gotten so used to it that continually packing a suitcase is a part of my life.

See, even with every good thing there is that balance that grounds me to appreciate what I have.

I should go and get back to working on an assignment.

Ah, yes in short my Easter Sunday was filled with shopping and watching two movies with my Mum. We went and saw Born To Be Wild, which is amazing. There was also a ride on the dodgems at Fox Studios, (Mum's idea). There was shopping which resulted in some new jeans !!! Two pairs to be exact. After 4 years of wearing the same jeans it was definitely time for new ones that weren't splitting at the seams around my knees. After shopping we went and saw Limitless, which is also amazing and I loved the movie. I was tired the entire day though because I had only gotten maybe 6.5 hours sleep the night before.

Now I definitely need to go, oooo wait, I bought another cork board which I will use to pin up things that inspire me so that when I do have my 2 week semester break I can feel inspired to create animations and make things and get my mind of uni work.

Until the next post,

G

Everything Happens for a Reason part 2

2011-04-24T22:04:00.002+10:00

Dear Reader,

Before I write about what actually happened on Wednesday I need to back-track to Monday, the start of the week.

Monday morning I set my alarm for just before 8am. I wanted a 5 minute snooze so I did that but after the snooze when I went to get up I twisted my right shoulder and it hurt so badly that I felt paralyzed and couldn't move until the pain stopped. So my start to the week wasn't that great, I hadn't even gotten out of bed and I had injured myself. The day went on and was OK, it was swap night so I did have to pack my suitcase. I had forgotten some important notes for an assignment due on Thursday and was stressing a little about that when I had gotten to my Mum's place. Along with those notes, I had also forgotten two vital pieces of jewellery that I wear everyday when I go out. These two bracelets are really important to me.

Tuesday I was really feeling stressed out because I had to get so much stuff done for class that night. I was feeling a little better after class although I was freaking out a little about a group presentation which I did write about a few posts ago, about Play-Doh.

Wednesday, after the presentation I was feeling good and the lecture after was cancelled because of technical difficulties. I got home early... Yeh well thats all in the other post.

Wednesday night... my goodness. It was 8.22pm and I was on Facebook. I was 3 words short of the word count for this essay draft and was commenting on my wall post in response to someone in my class about the essay. I see at that exact moment that I have a new Facebook message. It was from that guy. Ok, I'll just say his name. Ok, so Carl sent me a Facebook message. It was basically saying that he just wanted to be friends because we are at different stages of our lives. This is actually quite true. He is going to be 25 next week and I'm 18. I completely understand his thinking behind this and being his friend is what is best. The only two things about that message that hurt was that he wrote this:

I just know I am not the right person for you and want you to be able to find the one that is.

The other thing that hurt was the fact that it was a FACEBOOK MESSAGE! Seriously... My first reaction was in fact, "This is a Facebook message...". I guess it was too difficult to pick up the phone. I was upset, there were a few tears based upon the fact that what he had said seemed so faceless and from a guy like him I would have expected better.

I went to sleep around 10.30pm because I had at that point finished my essay draft even though it was a little difficult to concentrate after what had just happened. I did reply to his message at 10.09pm saying that I agreed and understood everything that he had said. I couldn't just not reply because I needed to say something even if it was just as faceless as what he had said to me.

Thursday I was just feeling a little sad and had to explain what had happened to two of the people I know in class so they wouldn't be mean or anything to me that day and they weren't so that was good. I showed them the Facebook message and they thought that Carl was a douche bag and they wanted to just go punch him or something but I said, "no there is no need for something like that".

In the 2.5 hour break I did eat quite a lot of food. I had a six-inch sub from Subway and 3 cookies. I did eat too much and was feeling a little sick after. Not the best decision of the day but I just really wanted some food because I was feeling really hungry and couldn't differentiate if what I was feeling was in fact hunger or a sad-stress-stomachache.

I was actually feeling happy in the morning when I was walking to the bus stop to go to class because it was a new day although that happy feeling kind of didn't last that long but it was still there nonetheless.

Ok, so Friday I was still feeling a little down because of that Facebook message and my Mum actually made me help her clean up the house so at least I was busy doing something. I also texted two of my friends saying that tomorrow (Saturday) that I needed to tell them something that happened, which was about the Facebook message. One of them did call me that night and we talked about it.

Saturday... the day with the two parties. I did kind of go to both but not really. I went to my friends 18th Birthday celebrations. Karaoke was first up. I really needed to go to Karaoke just to sing and have fun. Karaoke started at 4pm and I knew that Carl's birthday celebrations were starting at 7.30pm. I just couldn't stop thinking that I should go and just say hi, if anything. I want this year to be without regrets and I knew that if I didn't go and at least say hi then I would regret it so much.

I did in fact on Sunday design him a birthday card. I wasn't happy with the design of the first one and decided to change it on Monday. So I had made my friend a card and I had made Carl a card. I did bring it with me to my friends party because earlier I wasn't sure if I wanted to go and give it to him or not.

When I got to the restaurant for the dinner for my friends 18th, one of my friends (I know this is getting confusing but saying one name is all I want to type right now) said that she thought she saw Carl as she was walking to the restaurant. Right then a there I knew that since I was sure that he was going to be in the city I had to see him.

During the dinner I explained and showed another friend about the card and the present that I wanted to give him. The card was handmade i.e. graphics drawn in illustrator, printed on 200gsm card and cut with an art knife, with a handmade envelope which I also did for my friend. The present inside the card was from a joke that Carl and I had going about the fact that he never had an umbrella and he'd say, "did you forget to pack it for me?" and stuff like that. It was a 2D black paper cut-out of an umbrella glued onto a card that was folded shut.

So after the dinner at the 18th birthday party a few friends came with me to where his party was at, Cargo Bar. Walking towards Cargo Bar I was feeling a little unsure but I had to ask him why he sent a Facebook message. When I was there I called him to ask him to come outside so I could talk to him. At first I was freaking out a little because the call wouldn't go through. 3rd time lucky and it did. He did come out and talk to me.

So here's how everything went from my memory.

When I was standing in front of him I first dug into my bag to give him his card. He was a little surprised and said "oh, thank you". I then asked him "why a Facebook message?". His reasoning behind it was that we had never really talked all that much on the phone but more through text messages and sometimes through Facebook. He admitted that it was wrong and that he was a coward to have done it like that and that he should have picked up the phone. He even said that after he had sent it, he felt a little bad. He said he was sorry if it hurt, and all I could do when he said that was nod as in to say "yeah it did hurt". He didn't mean to hurt me in any way so I forgave him. He was sincere in saying that he does want to be friends and that he really does think that I am an awesome person it's just that we are at different stages in our lives. All the while he was saying this I was looking at his eyes and I'm sure he couldn't have been drunk because he sounded normal but his eyes, they just looked a little sad. I'm sure mine did too. You know when you feel happy but sad at the same time and you want to just cry a little? He had that look on his face from what I remember. I didn't even notice if he had new shoes or not because I know that he needs new shoes because he said as a present to himself he would buy new ones.

So he opened the card and thought it was great. When I had told him that I make cards for people I don't think he expected it to be made like that. When he saw the present inside it was in a smaller envelope because I originally wanted to give it to him last Saturday but I forgot. I wrote a note on a separate card inside the envelope saying that "it may not be completely functional but it'll do until you get a real one". He was really stumped as to what it could have been and when he saw the umbrella all he could do was laugh and so did I. We hugged and I just said "well I just wanted to come by and say Happy Birthday and to give you the card". He said that my friends and I could come into Cargo if we wanted but I said that we were going to go somewhere else. We said "see ya"with a smile and he walked back in to Cargo and I walked back to my friends.

After that I felt a little relieved and happy. Having a friend like him is a good thing and that's something to be grateful for.

For any guys out there, if you are going to tell a girl something like that, Facebook message is not the way to go.

It's been a long day and I will write about it in another post when I've had more than a total of less than 14 hours sleep in the past 2 days. Until then, remember that to keep going and moving past whatever is thrown at you because in the end it'll all be worth it.

G

p.s. I told you this would be a long post :P

Everything Happens for a Reason part 1

2011-04-22T22:28:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

Ok, I'm feeling so much better at the moment. I'll explain absolutely everything on Sunday, so until then remember to breathe and understand that everything happens for a reason.

I think that from what has just happened it was better to have been now than later. But if I were to do it all over again I would even if this was still the outcome.

So be prepared for what might be a ridiculously long blog on Sunday.

Are you there?

2011-04-21T18:39:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

Something happened last night that is really difficult for me to write about. I just need to talk to some of my friends although I'm just not too sure if they are busy with uni stuff at the moment. I'll be seeing them on Saturday but I just need to tell someone what happened.

G

Play-Doh :)

2011-04-20T18:29:00.001+10:00

Dear Reader,

I know I should be typing up the rest of my essay draft which is due tomorrow. I am just so hungry and I can't concentrate when my hands are shaking because I really need to eat some food. It won't be ready for another 20 minutes at least so I have time to blog while I wait for the food to cook in the oven.

As you can see by the picture to the right, that is a creation made from Play-Doh. The reason why the picture is there is because I made it when I was in class today after I did a group presentation on toys. The toy that I researched was Play-Doh and it is so much fun to play with. I feel young again :) Young as in 5 years old.

I bought the Play-Doh on Saturday when I met up with that guy. So I guess two exciting things happened that day.

A not so exciting thing happened that day that had escaped my mind when I last blogged. At the Dads place there was a fire in a garage underneath the units (it wasn't my Dads garage) about two weeks ago. There was a massive clean up and most of the things in my Dads' garage had to be thrown out because it was damaged from the smoke and soot. These things included childhood toys of mine so I was a little sad to know that they had to be thrown out like that. No one was hurt from the fire so thats a major positive.

My Dad bought up a box of old video tapes that he had from the garage that had all the videos that I used to watch as a child. I never realised until I saw that box and what was in it just how much I love animation. It was all the Disney movies on video tape. I was so happy to see it all because I knew that I had loved animation since I was a kid but that box of video tapes was the physical proof that my childhood love for animation existed. Now all I have are the emotional memories because on Saturday while I was out my Dad decided to just give them away. HE GAVE THEM AWAY! I wanted to watch a few of those videos, like The Land Before Time, and all those other Disney ones that were in there.

I was feeling happy on Saturday but after that happened I was just a little sad because they were gone.

I should get to writing the rest of my essay draft.

G

Tiring

2011-04-17T19:04:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I feel the need to blog again. I've got music in my ears and it's calming enough to just write. If only this writing was writing my essay draft but that can wait until after dinner.

I don't know if a lot of people or anyone who reads this blog knows that yesterday I met up with 'that guy'. You probably don't know that it had been 3 weeks since I saw him too. So I guess that sort of explains my post from a week ago titled, This is like an eternity! ...

Anyway I know that next Saturday there are two parties that I have been invited to. One is a friends 18th and the other is 'that guy's' birthday party. They are both in the city. I want to go to both. I really do. I looked at the location of the dinner for my friends one, which is in pyrmont and it is on the other side of the harbour from where 'that guy' will be having his birthday celebrations at the cargo bar. I'm going to need some really comfy shoes if I am going to go to the dinner and walk all the way over to cargo bar.

I'll get to catch up with high school friends at the 18th birthday and I'll get to catch up with some people that were in Fiji at the other party.

The other point is that he invited me first and she invited me second and I already put attending to his before I was invited to hers. Clicking attending on those facebook events is like a promise and I don't like to break those. This is tiring just thinking about it.

I just remembered I have to write up a word list and do mindmaps for part of my assignment which is due for inspection on tuesday. I better get to work on those.

Sigh, I want to go to both for as long as possible. I'm making something for both of them. If you read my last post you might have an idea of what it is... I've partially made one at the moment.

Surprisingly I did manage to actually sleep last night. I was kind of woken up at 6.30am because I had a really bad cramp in my leg but it didn't take much to go back to sleep after that :)

I should go I have so much stuff to do for these assignments.

G

a moment to reflect

2011-04-15T18:29:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I haven't posted in a while and I think it's about time that I did at least for this week anyway.

Last weekend I was working on my assignment which was due on Tuesday. Little did I know that there would be major train delays on about 6 or 7 lines. I left at 2pm for my 4pm class because I had no idea when the train would get to the station. I got to the city before 3pm which was lucky. I only had to switch trains to get to where I needed to be.

I know this may sound a little odd and random but...

When I make presents as in from just a sheet or two of paper and turn that into a creation, it means that I care enough to give that much thought and effort to give you something because you mean a lot to me. So to everyone that I've ever made something for including handmade envelopes... I think you are awesome and if you were right here at this moment I would hug you :) I may not know what to buy people to give as presents so making something from the heart is what I seem to do, even if it is something as simple as a handmade card that I drew the graphics for.

Anyway, I have something else I wanted to say because when I was looking at the stats page from blogger, I noticed that some of the posts that were being viewed were from a very long time ago. Long time as in from late 2009/early 2010. I never realised until I reread those posts how incredibly depressed I was. Truth be told I did consider harming myself and I just wanted to die. But I didn't give myself the satisfaction of doing so because I knew that somewhere at some point in time I would be happy with who I was and that sometimes bad things happen but there is so much good too.

I think that right now even if I hadn't met a certain someone I would be happy regardless because I'm finally out of high school and it doesn't feel like I'm getting the immense pressure to get that silly ATAR even though I am under a some pressure this year to get a distinction average which I am happy to say is currently being achieved.

I should go make myself something to eat because if I don't I will continue to just eat chocolate and I will feel a little sick tomorrow and I will be sad and disappointed if that happens.

G

This is like an eternity!

2011-04-09T16:19:00.000+10:00

Dear Reader,

I don't remember the last time a week felt like an eternity or two for that matter. The weather is really nice today and I did go for a walk to get some money out of the ATM so I had something in my wallet. Other than that I've been at home today, alone because my Mum is out.

I've been busy working on this assignment that is due on Tuesday and I'm almost finished. I just have to come up with a pun for my violin pictogram that is more than "Get Plucked"... get it?? yeh me neither. The design that the pun is going with is more of a "Mind Pluck"... ok I should really stop writing pluck... pluck pluck pluck pluck

pluck !

Some other stuff happened this week that was a bit scary and I was not able to concentrate because of it on Thursday night. I had my creative energy flowing like crazy with all the annotation I had to do and when I checked my email the energy stopped and I started to freak out because of what I was reading.

I did have a bit of a chocolate binge today, I've really come to the realisation that my weight doesn't really shift even when I eat lots of food and food that isn't exactly the healthiest choice. I think once it does shift over a certain point I'm going to freak out a little because I might have to buy some new jeans but I need new ones anyway :)

I really should get back to this assignment. I want to get it done today so I can have a break tomorrow. I'm just having a issue with my focus at the moment. I was sitting here with my headphones in my ears for like 20 minutes and I forgot to press play.

I've already been at uni for 2 months now and I kind of want the semester to be over because I have another 2 after this one. However I am looking forward to the Easter Weekend in a few weeks and the Tuesday after I won't have class too, I think...

ok, time to focus.

G

So to elaborate...

2011-03-30T21:56:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I don't quite know what to do... I have no more classes for the week. I have been working on my assignment today though. I don't really consider it work because I was playing around in Illustrator to create the designs for the assignment.

My only class for the week was yesterday from 4pm to 7pm. I don't have classes because mid semester exams today and tomorrow and I don't have any for this semester.

I'm just wondering if I should elaborate a little on my day last Saturday...

...

Ok, I will.

So, I did go to the zoo with 'that guy'. We spent most of the day there and after we had seen absolutely every animal at the zoo, we drove to dee why beach and had a drink at a cafe, followed by a walk along the beach and then he drove me home. There was something else that happened that day but I don't really know if I want to write it here...

So anyway...

I should go :)

G

p.s. these posts are getting shorter and shorter

Times are Changing

2011-03-27T10:52:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I don't know if I should be writing this or not...

but I'll write it anyway.

Aside from voting yesterday I did in fact go to Taronga Zoo. I know the weather wasn't sunny or anything like that but it was a great day nonetheless.

2011 is going to be a different year for me, a year of change from all that stuff that has happened in the past, it's shifting.

I should get to my assignment now.

G

a slightly uneventful week so far...

2011-03-25T22:02:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today has been a relatively slow day. I actually have a job now. My Mum is paying me to clean the house for $30. It took me one hour to clean her bathroom and I still have to clean my bathroom and 'tidy' my room a little more. So basically as I see it, she's paying me to clean my room...

I wasn't as productive as I would have liked to have been today in terms of working on assignments.

I'm just a tad bored right now and thought I'd post something up even though today wasn't particularly interesting.

Last night was pretty strange though, I checked my credit balance and it said I had $0.00, which I thought was strange because I hadn't used my phone that much. I knew I had to get credit because I need at least 1 cent to text my Dad incase I need something. It was 6.30pm so I made a mad dash to the 7-eleven up the road and bought some credit. That was about the extent of my Thursday.

Wednesday was interesting, I went with my Mum to officeworks that night to buy a printer so I wouldn't have to keep staying at my Dads place whenever I need to print out assignments now.

Tuesday was pretty awesome. There was an interim assessment worth 10% and I got a HD. I was so happy with my work because I had spent all weekend working on it and developing the design until I was happy with it and not just sticking with the first design I came up with.

Anyway, tomorrow is Saturday and because I have to be somewhere at 10am my Dad will come pick me up at 8am so we can go vote because he made me register a while back. I have no idea who to vote for tomorrow... but I will be looking forward to the rest of the day after voting has taken place :)

I should get to sleep soon because I still haven't been able to just sleep through the night until my alarm goes off. I keep waking up around the time my Mum does because I can hear her moving things even though I used to be able to sleep through just about anything. This has only been happening for about 2 weeks though so maybe I'll get past it soon because sleep is very important and even if this sounds peculiar, I actually like my dreams now and I feel like I'm missing out on them and they are even more disjointed than before.

Ok, bye...

G

Uni, where the work just keeps on coming...

2011-03-19T22:33:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

This week has been a little hectic. I had two assignments due, one on Thursday at 9am and the other on Friday by 5pm. I've handed in 3 assignments so far and I'm getting one back on Tuesday, and I've been working on another one. The work doesn't seem to stop but it's all Design related so I really don't mind when I have to work on assignments or do homework.

One assignment was the exhibition review and the other was a research report that I did on the Baroque Violin also known as the early violin. There is one quote that I really like that I included in my report, all referenced correctly and stuff describing the violin as a,

“unique creation of human ingenuity and inspiration” (Baines 1969, p.103)

This quote just made me love the violin even more than I already do.

Anywho...

Besides anything uni related, the week starting from Sunday has been interesting... I'll just say these few things...
I'm using up more phone credit than normal... and,
I really do hope that I get to 'see you soon' because I know you are a very amazing person who somehow wants to see someone like me, and this confuses me just a little.

Anyway, I still haven't perfected the art of sleeping properly. I keep waking up during the night at around 4 or 5am now and I don't get back to sleep for at least 1 hour. It's just a little frustrating because I'm waking up from good dreams not bad ones, IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND! but at least I am getting some sleep, even if it is disrupted. Every time I wake up at 4am or 5am I think to myself, "in Fiji right now it would be like 6am or 7am..". But when I wake up at 2am, I think "why?? for once I was happy to dream and now i've woken up", I smile and try to fall back asleep again.

I know I should be working my assignment right now but Saturday nights tend to be a study break for me because I work all day and it's Saturday night, I need a night to just do whatever. I have one thing to finish off before I go to sleep but all that involves is a 0.6 felt tip pen and tracing paper.

I don't quite know what else to say but hopefully it won't take me another week to post a blog.

G

Friday night

2011-03-12T22:28:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

So last night was Friday night... I'm going to keep this post short by saying only this...

Bowling, dinner and a walk around Darling Harbour which involved him wanting to throw me into the water features there...

In other news, I still haven't accomplished sleeping through the night, I woke up at 5am and didn't go back to sleep until 6.30am this morning. Let's hope I can sleep tonight.

I spent today listening to music and working on two assignments. I really do think that I lost my headphones last night, they might have fallen out of my bag, my Bose In-Ear Headphones are gone... I've been using the apple ones that I had from my iTouch before it was destroyed by a spoon.

This morning I saw the news about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. My heart goes out to everyone there.

G

Fingers crossed

2011-03-10T22:12:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I AM TIRED! I also think I ate too much food at dinner so I think my tiredness is also from that.

For the past two nights I have been waking up around 3am or 4am. Let's hope tonight I get to sleep through the night until my alarm goes off *fingers crossed*.

The first night I woke up at 3.21am. I looked at my alarm clock and thought, 'woah, 3, 2, 1... epic' and I smiled and went back to sleep. I then on the same night woke up again around 5am and thought '.......'. My alarm was set for 6.45am so I could give myself enough time to get ready and submit some homework online too.

Last night I woke up around 4am. In a first for me, I woke up from a bad dream. Usually I just sleep through it and wake up when my alarm goes off but this time I didn't... weird.

I've been catching the train at 8am the past two days and I'm just very happy that I don't have to catch the train that early in the morning for the rest of the week because it gets very very crowded.

In other news...

Do you remember how I said that guy called me up asking if I wanted to go bowling? Well as far as I'm aware, Bowling is tomorrow, so I am going to work all day and go and have fun tomorrow night as a reward for my hard work.

I have an exhibition review to write and a research essay thingy due next week. I also have to find some definitions and examples of symbols, pictograms, ideograms, icons and logos for class. I don't think I've lost my mind as of yet seeing as I only have 3 subjects this semester.

3 subjects x 3 assignments each = 9 assignments in total for semester 1

I have already completed one assignment, the one I was talking about in my last post and because I handed it in on time I along with some other people got a 5% bonus. YAY!

Anyway, I have to get back to sorting out an introduction or writing out points for this essay due next week.

The Things I do...

2011-03-06T18:30:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

Wow, I have spent the majority of the past three days in my room listening to my iPhone play music on shuffle. I've been working on an assessment due Tuesday at 4pm. I can't really do anything else on it without a functioning printer.

I spent most of today trying to get my reflection to be at a level that I think is good. I feel a little incoherent right about now though.

I was going to post something yesterday but when I had finished writing the post it was just so unnecessary so I deleted it.

I took a photo of my assessment. Well I took a photo of a tiny portion of my handiwork and I thought I'd post it up just so you can get a small picture in your mind as to what this assessment entails.

The colours do look a little washed out in the photo. I don't know why the iPhone camera washes out the colours of things.

To give you an approximate time frame of how long it took to complete this part of the assessment, it took me about 12 hours of sitting at my desk figuring out what to do and how to do what I needed to accomplish. I had finished that part yesterday at about 1pm and had started at about 5pm on Friday and I went until 11.30pm because I had cut out everything. Little did I know that I would have a massive idea just as I was falling asleep and so I spent time on that as well on Saturday. BLEH!

Anyway, I do enjoy making things like this. The typing of reflections and annotating like a nutter is not the most enjoyable part but it has to be done. If I had to make 3 of these types of designs like the one in the picture I would be more than happy to but I'm only required to make one and if I make 2 I will be here until... I'll be here for a while. And it won't get me any extra marks so it would be completely pointless.

G

Unexplainably weird

2011-03-02T21:16:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

It's been a week since I last wrote. I've been busy working on assessments and stuff. I have one due next week and 2 due the week after. I have 9 in total for this semester which ends sometime in May.

Something unexplainably weird happened on Sunday morning. And something extremely out of the norm happened on Monday night.

After pressing snooze on my phone for about 4 times I woke up. It was almost 8am and the snooze was going to go off in 1 minute. 1 MINUTE! All I heard was 'ding ding'. I had a text message, Sunday morning, 1 minute before my snooze time would have ended.

The text read "guess what"...

Sh*t, did an elephant walk down the street with a squirrel on its back???

No I didn't reply with that. It was that guy who I had invited me to the museum last Tuesday night.

This exchanging of text messages went on for about an hour because he had a really busy day ahead.

Anyway, the rest of my Sunday was pretty boring but I was busy getting research done for my first assessment that is due. It involved research a lot of Art Deco posters until I found the right ones. I really think that they are correct because in the tutorial the tutor kept pointing at my pin-up and how it really showed the 2D Flat edged style.

Should I skip to what happened on Monday night? Sure why not...

Monday nights are notoriously known to me as 'swap-night'. I had my suitcase packed and my laptop bag and handbag for the week. I had arrived at my Mums and she was out so she wasn't home at that point.

After saying hello to the cat that lives around here that I really didn't want to let inside because the cat is a little temperamental, it likes you one minute and then hisses at you the next.

After 'unpacking' I sat on the couch. My phone was on silent so I heard it buzzing on the table and thought that maybe my Dad was calling me or my Mum to ask if I was at her place yet or it was an alarm that I had forgotten that I had set.

It was that guy, I stared at my phone for a few seconds and thought "is it possible to butt-dial people on an iPhone?". I answered and he asked if I wanted to go bowling in a few weeks. I said "bowling?? I haven't been bowling in years"... I wasn't joking but he thought I was. I guess I'll prove him wrong when and if this bowling actually happens. He was slightly impressed by the fact that I know where the place would be because Laser Tag is there too.

When I got off the phone I was bewildered. I kept saying, "BOWLING? bowling?" "???"

ANYWAY!

So today I had class in the morning and a lecture straight after. I went to Tilly's Art Supplies to by some 'Art Supplies' for my assessment due next week. I finally bought a pad of tracing paper. TRACING PAPER IS AWESOME!

Also, I wanted to photocopy something here but I couldn't get the printer to turn on when I plugged it into the power outlet. I think it died.

Anyway, until next week or something. I also got my haircut this evening, so now I can see clearly without my fringe being in the way. Sorry about my ramblings, it's been a long day and it feels like I'm in a time warp of some sort.

G

p.s. R.I.P Printer, you deserved better than what you got during this life and you will always be remembered in this household...

Allow me to explain

2011-02-23T21:50:00.002+11:00

Dear Reader,

That 'Hypothetical Situation' was indeed a real thing, and it happened last night.

That thing that would lead to a certain death if I didn't go was class because if I didn't go my parents would have gone insane, no matter what the situation was or is I have to go to class. And class wasn't too bad, it involved cutting squares out of paper and making abstract patterns with them to express certain words.

The event was at the Australian Museum, where it was open till 9.30pm and there was live music and performers and stuff.

Just to be clear, 'A' was me and 'B' was the guy who asked me to go to the event at the Australian Museum. He had invited a whole group of people but somehow it just ended up as me and him walking around the museum together and looking at all the exhibits. It was a lot of fun and with entry was a glass of wine so the night was interesting.

This guy, I met him in Fiji at the conference. I don't know if you remember my long post about Fiji and how there was a guy there who had wrote a book that my Mum bought for me that had been signed to me and that I hadn't read it at that point... That was the guy.

I was only at the museum for 2 hours because class finished at 7pm and I somehow made it all the way from Harris street to the Australian Museum in like 20 minutes. It kind of helped that the tutor gave everyone an early mark and that the bus was at railway square just as I got to the bus stop.

I took the train home which was pretty much a first for me to be catching the train at 10pm. I got home before my Dad did from his game of tennis so that was strange.

So today after managing to wake up without pressing the snooze on my phone I had to get to Harris street again for class at 9am and we went to the Powerhouse Museum to choose something to do research on. 750 to 1000 words. I have chosen to do research on the Baroque Violin. I know it may sound strange researching the Violin for Design, but it can be done and it will be done. I did play the Violin on Monday for about 2 hours for the sake of wanting to play.

I have made some new friends at Insearch, I haven't really seen the guy who I went to primary school with lately though. There are about 150 students doing the course and many different timetables.

Since I got home I started working on stuff for class and I must have been looking at Art Deco posters for about 3 hours trying to get the right ones for what the tutor wants for next week.

I'm seriously loving Art Deco posters now, they're amazing.

G

A Hypothetical Situation For The Day

2011-02-20T20:34:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

Hypothetical situations and writing about them are a lot easier than just saying that the situation is about you and not some random friend who probably doesn't even exist.

For this post I can't say for sure whether or not this is hypothetical or real. Anyway, I am prepared to write this in all it's errors. Using letters and not names in my vagueness.

'A' met 'B' in a place full of many many trustworthy people over a small time period. 'A' and 'B' got along great and after a few days of exchanging messages on a certain social networking website the idea of reliving memories from the time that they met was said and agreed upon as a great idea to go in search of a particular thing that gave everyone a way to laugh.

A suggestion by 'B' to 'A' that on night during the week in the evening, 'A' should come along to an event due to having a spare ticket. 'A' would love to go but has a previous engagement that is utterly compulsory and can result in a form of death if 'A' does not go to this previous engagement.

'A' doesn't exactly know what to make of this. 'A' can go to the event but only for a few hours if 'A' isn't held back by the previous compulsory engagement.

In this hypothetical situation what should 'A' do?

If only 'A' was in an alternate world and didn't have any restrictions for that particular night...

Hypothetical situations are confusing aren't they?

Anyway, in other news, I went out with friends to a Graduation Party last night. I'm not saying what I drank because it went straight to my head within about 10 minutes of drinking it.

I will say that my feet still hurt from wearing my 10cm wedge suede shoes all night. At least they are all leather so I didn't get any blisters. My MSN pm is 'r.i.p feet'. Hopefully they will feel better soon.

I did some research this afternoon as Pancakes and Houdini are fighting a lot. I found a website called Rabbit House Society and have come to the conclusion that,

"Perhaps some rabbits are by nature asocial, antisocial, or even mildly autistic, and simply cannot master the social niceties of rabbit/rabbit relationships"

I don't know how true this is for Pancakes but Houdini...

They used to be such good friends and they are both neutered and have been neutered for a long time.

So, Reader, the hypothetical situation...

G

My 11:11

2011-02-18T23:20:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

A few minutes ago it was 11:11pm in Sydney Australia. On Facebook my current status was changed a few minutes ago to this...

I also wish that I were back in Fiji. I know that may seem a little sad but after what I was doing today I really miss the place.

One thing I did today was go to the park and sit under a very large tree and read some pages from a book I bought yesterday. I only read 2 pages as a mosquito decided to land on my foot and eat it... One bite on each foot but now it looks like it never happened.

Anyway, what was your 11:11pm wish if you realised.

You don't have to answer, just think about it.

G

That was a surprise

2011-02-16T14:15:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

So today was my first Lecture which was only an hour long.

My day started out fine, I got into the city about 30 minutes early and went to go look for something to eat because I was hungry and the gummy bears in my bag didn't seem like a good healthy choice for the first meal of the day.

I was waiting outside the auditorium waiting for the lecture to start and this guy walks up to me and asks me if I'm me, as in my name and I said yes. I didn't recognise him at all. He told me who he was and it was a complete surprise. He went to my primary school.

We ended up sitting next to each other in the lecture and he told me that I hadn't changed which was why he could recognise who I was...He looked completely different or maybe I just can't remember what he looked like in primary school.

Anyway, after the lecture was over I decided to go home because that was the only thing I had for today.

I did end up getting a bit of homework. Find 6 pictures of optical illusions to bring in next week (next Tuesday). I love uni.

Tomorrow I have class and I just hope I can find the room I'm supposed to be in.

G

Valentines Day 2011

2011-02-14T20:24:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

What ever your relationship status is right at this moment, SMILE!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

For the 18th year in a row, I spent Valentines day alone. I say 18 years because I don't remember most of my life up until about, now but I do know that I have been single for 18 years and that makes 18 Valentines days.

I woke up at 8.30am and decided that for the day I would look after myself. This included making myself breakfast, making myself lunch and making myself Triple Choc Fudge Brownies from a packet mix. They were for my Dad. I ate one brownie.

I also decided to play a little sims because I wanted to and I watched a few movies at home.

All in all it was a great day for me. I did what I wanted to do and I'm happy with that.

My dad made dinner and I ate so much food and he bought me a cupcake today and I had that after dinner and now I'm just soooo full. I can't do the button on my jeans while I'm sitting, that's how full I am right now.

Anyway, my first Lecture is on Wednesday so I'm looking forward to it =]

G

p.s. too much cupcake

Orientation, Thought Inspiring

2011-02-12T20:43:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I thought that it was time to write again.

The orientation week activity that I went to on Thursday night was just supposed to be a bit of a party at The Loft which is a place in UTS. It started at 5pm but I got there at 5.30pm. I walked into the place wondering if I was in the right place at the right time. Luckily I was.

About 5 minutes later everyone started to leave. We ended up walking to the Star Bar near Townhall and ate dinner there. After dinner we went to Karaoke and it was a lot of fun.

After Karaoke a lot of people left to go home. I stayed and so did another 9 people and we went to the Sanctuary to sit and chat. I left at around 11pm.

It was a fun night, I won't fill you in on too many details as I have other news to share and don't want to make this post as long as the last one.

Anyway...

Since Wednesday I have been working on a little project. I've spent a total of around 11 hours drawing, 3 hours scanning and 2 hours in Flash (which crashed 6 times in 36 minutes). If you saw the project, 'Sketch' that I did earlier then it's something like that except I drew out 60 drawings for it.

I used a notebook from Spirax called Quarto. When I was in Officeworks looking at stationary I saw it and was interested by the page size. I also haven't had a single lead break while drawing with the Staedtler mechanical pencil that I bought.

All in all I must say that it has been over a week and I have been in a great mood. I'm happy and it's freaking fantastic. I know that in life there will be those not so happy moments but what's wrong with enjoying the great ones? Absolutely nothing =D

I also joined Deviantart last night... I have no idea why but I thought it would a step in the right direction... There isn't anything on there at the moment that is mine but that will change soon. I'll keep you posted on that one.

ANYWAY!

I thought I'd just post up this picture of a tree that I saw in the Garden of the Sleeping Giant in Fiji that I thought was AMAZING! It's thought inspiring to me.

I did post this one up on Facebook with a caption saying something along this lines of wanting to find a tree just like this to sit under and draw all day. With music in my ears of course.

G

The Fiji Experience

2011-02-11T01:10:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

The past week has been so much fun. I think for this post I'll put in some 'details' of the Fiji Experience. It is going to be a very long post, so please read it, if you can.

Last Thursday I left for Fiji. The greeting that they say is "Bula", so everyday hotel staff and people attending the conference would greet you with "Bula" and a big smile along with it. I think happiness is somewhat contagious over there.

Woke up at 4am, Taxi at 5am, Plane take-off at 8.30am, 3pm (Fiji time) were there at the Nadi Airport. When we were in the plane for 4 hours and I didn't get a window seat unfortunately but it was just so nice to step out of the plane and be in a different country. A country that is sooooo GREEN! The colour green is absolutely everywhere, so many trees and so much grass. The time difference was 2 hours in front, so if it is 9pm here in Sydney it is 11pm there is Fiji.

We took a bus to the hotel with the big group of people. We stayed at the Sofitel Resort and Spa on Denarau Island. It is a really nice place but it was a 'manicured' version of Fiji. After the bus had arrived we went to our rooms and I did share with my Mum so I was wondering how the bathroom arrangement would work as it takes her forever to get her hair done, and there was only one bathroom in the room.

After everything was unpacked we walked around the resort wondering where we could get something to eat. There was restaurant in the resort called Salt. The food was amazing. I had a salad and my Mum had a dish called Kokoda. It is fish marinated in Coconut milk with lime and other yummy stuff. It tasted so good and it was really refreshing to eat. A few people sat and joined us who were also in the conference, so it was great to meet a few people.

We ended up having dinner at the same place after drinks at the Breeze Bar which was also located in the resort. I had a Fijian Punch which has hardly any alcohol in it.

Dinner was a lot of fun, the mosquitoes, not so much. I have four 'bites' on my right leg, above my ankle, from that dinner. I had to run back to the room and spray some aerogard on me before I was bitten to death.

After dinner, I went for a bit of a late night swim, with my Mum and because it was a chlorine pool I couldn't get my hair wet because chlorine kills hair, and I had a straightening treatment done too.

On Friday the conference started. It went from 9am to 1pm and we had the rest of the day to ourselves. I actually can't remember what I did on the Friday afternoon but I do know that Friday night was a Welcome dinner for everyone at the conference. I had a cocktail, everyone did because there was a speaker before the dinner and he made it. I also had a sip of Red Wine that was sooooo terrible that it felt like my nose had died a little. I don't like the smell or taste of Red Wine. I had some Champagne, it was much better.

Saturday was interesting. After the conference for the morning my Mum, 6 others and I went out on a tour. We had a taxi driver, drive us to various spots in Fiji. First stop was the Garden of the Sleeping Giant. It was beautiful. It was humid. I did get a few more bites which are now starting to slowly go down.

After the Garden walk we went to a Mud Bath/ Hot Spring. WOW, we saw a Hot Spring and the water was around 70' Degrees Celsius. HOT! The tour guide guy was kind of hot too but I won't go into much detail about that...

After the Mud Bath/ Hot Spring, we headed to a Fijian Village. My Mum bought me some jewellery from some stalls because that's how the families in the village support themselves by selling jewellery. The tour guide was very informative and told us about the history of Fiji and how many many many many years ago, back to the time of Captain Cook, there were Cannibals on the Fijian Islands and the first few Missionaries were eaten when they came. It was interesting to learn about it. It was also interesting to hear that in that Village, the greeting is "Thula", "Bula" means something like, "There is a fire burning" and we were told not to yell it in the Village so we didn't scare everyone.

There was a church there and the acoustics inside were amazing. The tour guide gave us a sample of his singing and it was beautiful. It echoed off the ceiling and he said, "Imagine a whole choir singing". Just magical.

When the tour was over we headed back to the Hotel. My Mum and I decided to get a drink at the Breeze Bar, another Fijian Punch. We sat down with some people who originally had plans to go out to a Club in Nadi. They invited us to join them for dinner out at the Mariner. We ate at the Nadina restaurant and I had some fish. The age range was diverse at the table. It ranged from 18 to maybe early 60s. It was a lot of fun and a really great night. While we were waiting for dinner and sitting at the table, we heard, "Kava Time".

Kava is basically a drug which is legal over in Fiji. It makes you Hallucinate. I did try some. It was very weak though, my Mum who had been to Fiji many many years ago said she had some before that was WAY stronger. It had a funny taste to it. My Mum and I didn't want a lot so we got the 'low-tide' version.

After that was over, we sat down and had a bit of wine, this time it was white wine and I was able to drink it without scrunching up my face. 15 minutes had past and we heard once again, "Kava Time". What makes it hilarious is that the Police on duty patrolling the area also had some. I love Fiji.

There were a lot of laughs going around the table and everyone was having a great time. 15 minutes later, "Kava Time". I only went the first time so I only had a very weak dose of Kava. The guys all tried it 3 times, they were starting to feel a little higher than average. The guy who was serving the Kava stopped after the 3rd time.

My Mum and I ended up going back to the Hotel while all the guys went to the Club. The next day at the conference they looked a little out of it. Too much alcohol for them.

This was Sunday, the day before we had to come back to reality.

There was a dinner on Sunday and during the dinner there was some entertainment which was dancing. Performers came out and did like traditional dancing. It was so great to be able to watch it. After the dancing was Fire-throwing-something... They had a stick with fire on each end throwing it around, nicely. It was so great to watch it. I did record some of it but I am not going to edit it together. Not right now anyway.

When the performers were done it was time to DANCE! I did actually get up and dance, for the whole night. The song selection was... different. It ranged from Katy Perry to George Michael, to that Nut Bush song, to the Spice Girls. It was just so much fun. My calf muscles were very sore on Tuesday. There was a game of Pool Volleyball which first started out with a big plastic juice container because we didn't have a ball. We eventually got one and started to play. I wasn't great at it but I still went in and played. I successfully served the ball once and had many semi-successful tries at serving.

The game went until about 1am Fiji time which is 11pm here in Sydney. We packed in the morning, ate breakfast, said goodbyes and got on the bus to the Airport. We waited at the Airport for 2 hours so we decided to get something to eat. A group of us sat down and somehow we all managed to get the same type of drink. It was like a yellow creaming soda. A bottle of sugary-coloured-goodness.

On the plane I slept for most of it so 4 hours went by fast. Landed at around 6pm Sydney time and we got home at around 7.30pm or something and finished unpacking at around 8.30pm.

I know I haven't included some major crucial details in there like meeting the guy who wrote a book that my mum bought me for Christmas that he signed to me that I hadn't read and when he asked me if I had read it I said that I hadn't... awkward. I did end up reading his book on Tuesday night, he's only like 24 years old and wrote a book and it is so freaking good. He's one of the people that asked me to add him on Facebook.

Also I forgot to add that in the Fijian Village there is a building being built that has been on 'fiji time' for the past 3 years.

Anyway, to sum up the trip. It was awesome, wait it was EPIC. Happiness is definitely contagious in Fiji and the people there are so friendly and care so much about family.

There are pictures, I took 247 pictures in total and there are 31 on Facebook at the moment.

This evening was an Orientation week activity but I'll wait until the next post to write about that, it's 1am and I have been writing this post for an hour.

G

p.s. BULA

Fiji =D

2011-02-07T19:13:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I just got home from the Airport.

I was in Fiji !!!
It was awesome =]

I was there with my Mum for a conference on Business and Entrepreneurs and stuff like that. Some really great stuff that I can use to set my mind on what I want to achieve this year while studying. It was great to meet a whole lot of new people and being in Fiji everyone was just having a great time getting to know each other.

I have to add a few people of Facebook but I think I'll do that tomorrow because I haven't even unpacked yet.

I won't get photos off my camera until tomorrow night when I have access to my iMac because it is really easy to transfer photos from the memory card using it.

This will be a short post. I didn't buy anyone anything, sorry. I had no control over the money over there.

About my last post, super sorry, I was in a really bad mood after a really shit day of catching buses and such.

Got to go

G

Why do you ask?

2011-02-01T20:38:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I have been thinking about posting this all day but before I do let me just say one thing...

THE WEATHER IS HOT!

That seems to be an understatement but I know March will be here in a month and I love Autumn so it'll be better soon.

Yesterday I went to the beach with some friends. I don't think I got burnt but according to my Mum I am a little tanned but not too much. It was a good day overall.

I caught the train home by myself because the others wanted to just stay on the bus that went straight into the city. I was at Townhall at 5.50pm and home by 6.10pm. I had to get home before 6 but I didn't so my Mum and I were 15 minutes late for dinner out with people. I have no idea when the others got home.

I think that I'll be going on hiatus for a while. I'll take down my little project.

I kept getting "why do you swear so much?" asked yesterday. I'd like to tell you before I go.

I am a girl who just has always stayed quiet. In a group of people, even a group of 3 (including myself) I won't say anything at all because I know that after trying to say something 3 times, even to this very day, that no one is listening even if no one is speaking.

I think the swearing is all the built up unused words that are only translated into profanities. From so many years of just being ignored.

And I get the "why do you swear so much?" question.

Sorry.

That's it from me for a while. I'll be on Facebook sparingly and most likely not be on msn for a while. If anyone really needs to talk to me I do have an email address. And a phone. I won't be checking this blog for a while.

I'm just tired of all of this at the moment.

G

p.s.

p.p.s edited post

Guess What??

2011-01-27T13:42:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

Guess what?

No really, just guess... I dare you!

I went into the city today... for about an hour.

I bought the leadholder !!!

I also bought some 2B pencils

And some post-it note thingys

I was very happy when I bought it. I bought it from Officeworks because it was infact cheaper by about $10 or so.

I thought about buying a new mechanical pencil and some coloured leads but the price for a thing of 12 leads was almost $10.

Anyway, here is the leadholder out of the packet on my laptop sleeve.

I should go and eat some lunch because I am very very hungry.

From this point on I don't think I'll devoted whole posts to pencils anymore. However I might post up about my experience using this leadholder.

I still have to finish my little project that I worked on yesterday.

G

p.s. if I really feel like it I'll post up the little project on this blog, only if I trust you though...

Happy Australia Day

2011-01-26T20:43:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I have come to the conclusion, that I will go to the city tomorrow and buy a leadholder. OR a new 0.5mm mechanical pencil and some coloured led refills only if I can find the coloured led refills that I want.

I am only saying this because I am going to have to deal with the excruciating pain of not being able to use my laptop when I will have to go to my Mum's this Saturday because my Dad is going to Melbourne for a week.

She called me and talked to me for 17 minutes!!! That is a loooooong time in my world. I know I may sound absolutely horrible but the idea of her using my computer when she doesn't really have the best of luck with computers and technology is... scary. Oh, and the only reason why this is happening is because she bought herself a laptop and it hasn't even been a week since she bought it and it CRASHED!

I'll need drawing 'tools' to survive. I will also have to monitor her using my laptop because I jeihabfk ,vfkjaghvajmn
sorry.

I know at some point she'll ask me how to cut and paste because on a Mac you use command-c and not control-c. And how to turn the computer off, or on. I only think this because of past experience.

ANYWAY!! Today is Australia Day!

I stayed at home in the air conditioning. I worked on the little project that I wanted to start. The kind of 'traditional' animation thing. I drew out 32 pages by hand and scanned them all into the PC onto my USB and I have to crop some of them because the paper was light and I couldn't tell on the screen what part to select the scan in so I place a coloured sheet of paper behind the drawing and selected what I needed. If that was a little bleh to understand I have a picture for you.

The purple is the coloured page behind the drawing. I only did that because the paper scanned in lighter and I was fine with it. The actual colour of the paper has a yellowish colour to it. It's the paper in this 'sketch book' that I bought from Typo for $4.95. It has about 76 pages. Yeh I counted them last night.

The gap is from where I tore out the pages which were perforated and made it a tad easier.

I thought about going over each drawing with the artline pen, I cannot remember the other name for it. Fine liner or something.

I'll need to crop out some purple on the drawings I scanned in.

ANYWAY!

Yesterday I went to see Black Swan with a few friends. Let me just say, what the f*ck... No, but seriously.

I don't mind these sorts of films because they are interesting to me.

That's all I'll say on the subject of Black Swan.

I also bought a cork board yesterday =D YAY! I've wanted to get one for a while and I got one yesterday from IKEA. It was $9.95 or $9.99. I wanted it so I could pin pictures to it when I'm drawing and sketches and stuff so when I'm working on a project I can easily just look at the board and keep focus on what the 'thing' is supposed to be. As of last night it looked like this...

I am going to cover it with some fabric I have but I'll do that later. I really want to go watch the tennis because Nadal has an injury and it is really painful to watch him play so badly... or something. I am no feeling coherent tonight.

G

p.s. My dad came home from a week away with a very funny tan. Think about having a tanned head with a 'V' shape from the neck from a singlet top. Think whole armed tan from the singlet top. So basically his head and arms are tanned, really tanned.

And the saga continues...

2011-01-24T22:00:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I cannot begin to describe the last few days in any word except for, excruciating.

I can't really write about it without feeling upset and I would like to continue my posts about my dream to have a leadholder.

I was at Top Ryde on Saturday and in the Newsagent they had one!!! BUT it was $25.95... tooo much. I did end up getting two Art Gum eraser thingys, only $1.50 each.

Today I was in Tilly's Art Supplies again. I saw a Staedtler leadholder but a different model and it was $32.95 in there. My mind freaked out when I saw the price. They did have some 0.5mm coloured lead refills in red and blue. I want to get a new 0.5mm mechanical pencil because the one that I have it is at least 3 years old and the lead-end-part always comes loose and I have fix it everytime I use it.

I saw a Staedtler one at Top Ryde for $8.50. Judging by the price of the leadholder that I want that was there, I'm going to assume that I can find it a little cheaper elsewhere. I could try Officeworks because the last time I went you could buy it with a pack of refills for about $11 I think. The refills for the mechanical pencils are about $3.15 in Eckersley's but I have found them for about $2.15 in the newsagent up the road from my Mums, which is nice. The newsagent up the road doesn't have coloured refills though =[ wish it did.

Thursday I plan to go into the city again. I can check out the Officeworks and Eckersely's for prices, Tilly's seems a bit more pricey, even if it is only a few dollars more.

Can't believe I'm writing about pencils, again. Sorry. I swear, after I buy one, there will be a post of rejoicing in my buying glory and then no more on this subject. Until then, you may have to suffer in the not-so-indepth ramblings of a dream of having a leadholder.

I should go. I'm watching Black Swan with a few friends tomorrow. If there is a newsagent in the shopping centre I will be in there at some point. I feel like I'm obsessing over price on this but I get that from my Dad. I also believe that I shouldn't have to pay too much for it and I don't want to buy it off the internet. I like buying these sorts of things in the shop to familiarise myself with the actual 'tool' and buy that one in particular.

Ok, going now.

G

I want I want

2011-01-21T17:07:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Have you ever had that feeling when you've seen something and you just want it soooo bad????

I am having this feeling right now.

I want this...

You may be thinking, "what on earth is that?". 'That' is a lead holder.
It is the Staedtler Mars technico 780 C.
And I want it.

The only issue I have is getting a reasonable price in art shops. I know it isn't cheap. The best price I've seen is in Eckersleys for around $18. In Officeworks online it is $19.98. In Tilly's Art Supplies it is around $21. The refills cost around $19 - $20 from what I've found and the coloured leads are expensive (around $30 (???)).

I held one in Eckersleys in York Street in the city and it was sooooooo nice to hold and draw with.

I've been using Staedtler leads with my new mechanical pencil and I haven't had a single one break! Which is really nice because the cheap ones that I've been buying because they are cheap always break. It was a pain in math because I'd be writing and the lead would just break. So far not a single lead has broken while I have been drawing.

This is my new mechanical pencil, the Staedtler triplus micro which is very nice to draw with and its very nice and comfy to hold in my hand. I have it for 0.7mm leads.

I've been catching the bus a lot this week to go and feed my rabbits everyday regardless. It has given me a lot of time to just think. I tend to get a lot of ideas on the bus. Generally they tend to grow and 'fill up' to become a bit more full-baked if that makes sense. The small sketch pad that I bought on Wednesday from Typo is going to be used for this idea. I'm going to basically try and traditionally animate something in a sketch book by starting from the last page and working upwards. I'M EXCITED! I'm also testing my limited skills in this area as the closest thing I've done to this has been on the computer in Flash using Onion Skinning and drawing frame-by-frame.

I have one issue, JUST ONE!! I need to figure out how I am going to draw that well to get it how I want it to look, if that makes any sense.

I'm sorry that this post has been about pencils, essentially. If you have gotten to the end then, well done, sorry for using up your time to read about what is essentially pencils... There might be some 'jargon' in there that you don't understand or 'get' but don't worry, I didn't at first either.

As a present for being such a lovely person and getting this far, here is a 'screenshot' of Houdini's Story part 2 that has a background error in it that makes me feel very sad because I have to fix it and if I don't, my eye will continue to twitch every time I test the 'flash'.

If you can see the error, then you might understand why I twitch when I see it. Or maybe I'm just being a version of a perfectionist, but it really bugs me and I haven't gotten to the stage where I polish everything so I mentally can't fix it until then.... BLAHHHHH. sorry.

ok, that's it from me for today.

G

And it's done

2011-01-20T11:24:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

So last night at 9pm Uni Offers were out. I didn't get an offer from UTS but I wasn't really expecting that I would with my ATAR. I did however get an offer from UWS. I'm not going to go there but it was nice to see an offer when I logged in, even if it wasn't the one that I wanted.

I just came back from Insearch after accepting my offer there. Fee-Help was put in and it was successful so I am definitely going there and it makes me sooooo happy to know that I am going somewhere this year. I'm going to receive a letter about Orientation week sometime next week but I probably won't get the letter for a while because my Mum never checks the post box and she has the only key to it.

When I got to Insearch there were only a few people there. I guess others are waiting for the other rounds of offers or maybe its because I got there at about 9.30am.

Going to Insearch means that I won't have nothing to do for a month because it starts in February and it will finish in January 2012 according to what I've read. I'm not sure if it'll go till exactly then but I know it goes all year. I'll need an 80% average if I am going to get into the second year at UTS.

The course that I'm doing at Insearch is what is done in the first year at UTS but spread out a bit longer.

Anyway...

I need to go eat something because I am hungry and all I have had today is water.

The only issue that I have with Orientation week is that it starts on the 7th of February and I'm going to be coming back on a plane on the 7th of Feb because my Mum booked a trip to Fiji leaving on the 3rd of Feb and we get back on the 7th. It is only a short stay because there is a 'conference' over there that she booked and decided it would be fun to take me too.

G

p.s. Congratulations to everyone who got what they wanted in the main round offers =]

Better

2011-01-13T20:02:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

I'm sorry about the last post and my stressssssssssss ! that consumed it.

Today was my last day at Work experience for these holidays. They did say that whenever I have holidays later this year to give them a call. Apparently I work too fast but it means I get more done.

In the afternoon at around 3.30pm the manager lady asked me if I had time for cake. I said, "possibly". It was for me to thank me for helping out. The cake had 'Hello Happy' written on it... lol?

I have one more pay coming next week for today because everyone there gets paid weekly.

The day started out with a filing cabinet. Like my first day. SOOOO many files and not enough places to put them back in!

I did a bit of work with some changing things on the computer database and then I dealt with some envelopes. Stapling was later done and then taking out the staples to scan stuff and then stapling the stuff back together and then CAKE!!

They let me leave about 10 minutes early. Fair enough. I usually get there about 5 - 10 minutes early and once I was there 20 minutes early. I think the trains were running faster or something because the day before I had caught the train and the same time.

Before I forget, LUNCH was interesting. I went down to the Plaza like usual. I was eating a chicken pasta salad by myself and I was fine. Until. This girl and this guy walked up to me and asked me what my meaning of life was... or what I thought it was. The correct answer would have been "42" but I said, "I don't know". It threw off the girl who obviously wanted to keep the conversation going. The guy chimed in and said something but I couldn't quite hear him. They then wanted to know if I wanted to talk about the meaning of life and I said no and continued to eat my lunch which they had interrupted.

About 10 minutes later they started talking to a guy sitting near me on a different table who was also by himself asking about the meaning of life.

THE NEXT TIME THIS HAPPENS I WILL STARE AT THEM UNTIL IT GETS SO UNCOMFORTABLE THAT THEY JUST LEAVE AND LET ME EAT MY LUNCH!!
(I know that may seem rude, but my lunch is my lunch and I get very very hungry, I also don't want to talk about the meaning of life while my mouth is full of food)

The same thing kind of happened to my Dad when he was on a lunch break at his work. Two priest guys walked up to him to talk about God and Jesus while he was sitting eating his sandwich.

Anyway...
On the way home I stopped by the woolies in Strathfield before I caught the train to get a few things for my Mum.

When I got home my feet were dead because yesterday I had walked down George street because the 501 didn't come on time and I wasn't going to risk the time because I had a very important appointment at 11am. The 501 would have taken me to the destination faster but it took be about 20 minutes to walk from Town Hall to Railway square. I will have to make the trip again tomorrow but this time I can wait for the 501.

Anyway! my feet were dead because the bandaids had failed to help my blisters >=|
to give you an idea of what my shoes did... there is dried blood on my shoe!

ANYWAY!!! you know that black notebook I got sent from Billy Blue before I told them I wouldn't be going there this year ??

well this is it! That fuzzy thing behind it is my hair... the fan is on.

and this is some drawings I did in it for a possible character with an idea that has been simmering in my head

I did the two on the right when I got home. I have never drawn by drawing a circle or a basic shape and then extending it before if that makes sense. Before I would start with the ears and then draw the rest of the head. This change in drawing has come from the books my Mum bought for me for Christmas.

I've been looking into buying a 2mm lead holder. Its like a mechanical pencil but with a big lead in it I guess. There is one at Officeworks but it's nearly $20 and the refills are about the same. It's a Staedtler Mars something something. I'm going to go to the one in the city tomorrow just to check it out and I also need some big set squares for my 3D board because it'll just make me feel... complete? no, better? maybe, adjacent? POSSIBLY. I'll also look at some stationary because it is January and the back-to-school stuff could be on sale and I need 2B 0.7 lead refills. I don't want to raid the newsagency up the road that has them. I'll feel like the Lead Fanatic of Lilyfield/Rozelle.

I'm going to go, tonight Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo is on tv. I think I might watch it and laugh a little too.

G

Why ???

2011-01-11T19:23:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

The past week has been in the least, stressful. I'm so tired. I wake up tired. I hit the snooze 5 times this morning. I just want everything to go away for a few minutes at least so I can wake up.

I'm 18 years old and legally an adult and I have NO IDEA WHY I AM HERE!!! Here in this place, in this house.

Anyway...

In Queensland there are floods. Really bad floods. Trees are getting knocked down and cars are getting swallowed by the flood waters. Roads are wrecked and bridges have been broken by the floods. Its so bad up there and it's awful to see how things are on the news. Even houses have been swept away.

I don't know what else to write about it. Go check the news I guess.

G

Just a little deflated

2011-01-04T16:13:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today has left me to feel just a little deflated.

I went out to get a parcel from the post office. It was a package from Billy Blue. A black notebook type thing that has blank pages throughout. I really do like it but I felt kind of strange getting it as I don't intend to go there this year.

When I got home I sent an email saying that I wish to withdraw my application to the course. I thought about writing, "p.s. I can send back the black book if you want.", I decided not to.

The reason for me feeling deflated was to do with another thing I had to get done at the post office. I couldn't get it done because I didn't have the right thing with me. I have to go back on Thursday to get it done. This is the thing that has caused me a lot of stress.

I did however end up going to JB Hifi and I bought The Sims 3 Fast Lane. It is the only one in the Sims 3 collection that I do not have and it cheered me up a little to buy it.

I went to where my Mum lives to buy some face scrub because it is the only one that works for me and I have run out. I then caught the bus back here and installed all my expansions and stuff packs onto this iMac. I had only installed the base game and was playing that for a while.

The base game itself is fun. I made a 'family' well roommates. 2 guys and 2 girls. I don't get it but soon enough my sims were couples and BABIES ensued. I thought "ok, there will be 2 babies in the household". There are 3! One couple had twins. TOO MANY CRYING BABIES!!!! At one point I couldn't handle it so I saved the game and quit and went to sleep. I have since made the babies grow up into children and now they can feed themselves and go to the toilet without soiling themselves.

I should go. I am having a lot of fun with my 3D Drawing board. I still haven't completed my first drawing because I've been getting sidetracked. I still haven't finished Houdini's Story part 2! *sad face*

I feel tooo deflated to do anything at the moment other than try to make myself feel better.

I also need a hair cut, luckily there is one on Saturday.

G

p.s. I changed the background. I made it in Illustrator CS5 on Sunday while I was bored. I had the image in mind and for once it came out how I thought it should look like, which is nice.

Happy 2011

2011-01-01T09:26:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

HAPPY NEW YEAR, well HAPPY 2011!!!

Hope everyone had fun last night =]

I walked with my Mum down to Balmain Wharf to see the midnight fireworks where I had the ordeal of having to grow enough patience to live through the 'swish swish' noise she made while she walked due to her pants ==''

ANYWAY!

2011 is here and I have just woken up.

Had a really weird dream, and I'm hungry-ish.

I'm going to go and do nothing or possibly finish off my drawing that I started yesterday (last year) on my 3D drawing board! That's right, I finally got to use it because I was inside for most of the day yesterday =]

2011 will only be the greatest it can be if you make it that way... or something

G

FARRRRRRGE! (no not F*CK, FARRRRRRGE!)

2010-12-29T17:49:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

I think during the past few days my stress levels have risen, immensely. If you're a girl you might know what can result from stress.

Anyway...

Christmas Day! I spent with my Dad and his girlfriend. We went for a picnic and got to feed some birds afterwards. It was a lot of fun and I loved the day. If you have me as a friend on facebook and have seen my recent profile picture, then you can see me feeding two little cute birds. There were a lot more though. I had a Cockatoo land on my shoulder and I fed it bits of pita bread while it was sitting there. One sorta half bit my toe to get my attention to feed it. There were maybe about 10 of them getting fed.

Boxing Day!
frustration...

Monday!
Let's just get yelled at... FARRRRRR
GE!

Tuesday!
CLOTHES!!! and lunch out in the city with my Mum.

Today!
I came home from work about 30 minutes ago and I am too tired to write anymore.

Tonight!
Hamburgers... well the hamburger patty and salad, without bread because well... cooked meals here are abnormal-ish.

Tomorrow!
I have work, woooo (insert sarcasm) hoooooo

New Years is coming up soon. My 'New Years Resolution' at the moment is to keep my desk and room at my Dad's and partially at my Mum's place CLEAN AND TIDY! I think this is achievable and will help when I'm studying to have space to work with and not an A4 sized place on my desk that is the only clear space on my huge desk. (try saying that 20 times fast)

I need a day where I just sleep-in and not go anywhere.

OOOO, that's right, Christmas presents! My Dad did actually get me the 3D board which I am yet to use because I haven't been inside for more than 10 minutes in the past few days. He also bought me software for my lovely iMac that allows me to use Windows programs. My Mum bought me books on animation and character design which I love.

I'm going to have to delete unnecessary files off my laptop because I need space for CS5.

G

p.s. a lot more stuff has happened in the past few days to contribute to my stress but I don't want to write it all

Xmas Eve of 2010

2010-12-24T17:37:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

It is Christmas Eve and I have just gotten home from work.

Today at work I felt more helpful than usual. I used the phone to call people and I typed things into the system. I was 'too quick' but I wanted to get as much done as possible because there were only 3 people answering phones and two other guys working as well. I gave them all a box of chocolate from my Dad and I to say thanks for letting me work there.

So, xmas eve...

It doesn't really feel like Christmas even though it is tomorrow. I guess because it's on a Saturday this year.

Tuesday was the xmas bbq and it was a good night. To the person who organised it and got everyone together, you are awesome and don't you forget it! We all love you and hope you have a lovely time during this holiday season.

New Years is also coming up. What a year it has been.

2010 has been mine and many others year of the HSC. A hurdle in the life of High School that we sometimes might trip over but we all got back up and kept going and now we are here.

2010 for me was strange. I had to deal with my loneliness and stress from life and school. If you saw my diary you'd understand but you never will because, well, do you even know what it looks like? Colour, size, shape? Width??? sorry. Trying to finish two major works. One functioning and one quite not functioning. Violin, violin, violin. My goodness, that violin. I surprised the strings didn't snap at any point throughout the year. The trying to not hate but not like a certain person because they confuse me a lot. A LOT!

To expand on that loneliness comment so I don't get comments on it. I was feeling really depressed during the year. I considered many things as you may have read or not. I can't remember what I have written on this blog. In all honesty, I thought about hurting myself but in places that were covered by everyday wear, my school uniform. I didn't though so don't freak out. I felt isolated and I think that I fought it and fought it until it almost went away. There was this void that was so big that I felt consumed almost. I had to fake a smile every time, fake laughter, fake it all.

Now it's real and has been for a while. The fake world was there until maybe before exams started or a little earlier. I don't know if you remember the 4 days in a week where I stayed home 'sick'. I was actually dealing with a depressive state and that added onto the stress that was already there and I felt so sick that I couldn't stand up straight. I tried to cure myself by watching some movies that would make me laugh but it only helped a little.

I'll be so happy when 2010 is left behind. But there are the good things too. The good things like Graduating, that last HSC paper, turning 18 (that was a good day), feeling happy and free and my first job. It may not be a lot of stuff, I know there are others but I can't remember for the moment.

I really want to go and play sims now. It is so nice to play it on this screen and because there is 4gb of ram, the game runs real nice.

Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year to everyone out there

G

p.s. I still have to wrap presents... I will do so before midnight! when my dad is asleep

A Very Happy Birthday to Moi

2010-12-21T00:08:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today was my 18th Birthday and I woke up feeling happy.

I didn't go out with friends, only with my Dad and then later it was my Mum's turn. I got up at about 8am. I think around 5am I half woke up and thought, "it's my birthday, it's my birthday" over and over in my mind. I eventually went back to sleep and woke up tired, as usual.

At 10.30am my Dad came to pick me up from my Mums place. First we came back here so I could open my presents. I am using one right now, as I am typing. Well, I'm typing on it, in it, for this post. It's a 27-inch iMac. Pretty freaking awesome. I knew that there was an iMac in my Dad's room but I didn't know it was this big. It fits on my desk just fine so I'm even more happy because all that cleaning up last week paid off. I also got Adobe CS5 Master Collection, which I really hoped would be for me after I accidentally stumbled upon during the exam period while putting this annoying thing in a draw in the living room.

I am so happy with everything that I have gotten today and I am so thankful and grateful to have such lovely parents, even if they do get on my nerves and annoy me sometimes. They are parents after all.

The keyboard is small in comparison to the screen. My Dad said it was 'out of proportion'. I have to agree although the new keyboard is nice to type with.

For lunch we went to a Sushi restaurant in Coogee. We go there quite a bit so it was nice to go for lunch today.

The weather was really cold. It was about 18 degrees but warmed up to about 22 degrees a little later in the day. It was because it had snowed up near Perisher and in the mountain areas. It felt almost like an Autumn/Wintery day because of the cold wind but the sun was nice and warm. A nice day. The weather may be pms-ing a little but for today, I liked it.

After lunch he dropped me back to my Mum's place and I packed my stuff for when I would come back over for this week. My Mum came home at about 6pm and we went out for dinner in Balmain and ate Thai food. It was expensive but it was something new to try because we had never eaten there before. I was so full of food. I've been extremely well fed today. I can't eat anything else. I don't think I'll be having a breakfast that's more than a piece of toast tomorrow morning.

When we had eaten as much as possible we walked up the road to see if there was anywhere to have a coffee, or in my case a hot chocolate as usual. There wasn't so we went to Glebe and ended up in San Churros. I was about to explode from drinking that Classic Spanish hot chocolate. It was nice, it didn't taste too sweet to me. I think that if I had let it cool down a lot it would have turned into a chocolate block. We shared a cake that was gluten free, the Chocolate Rocher. It was nice with ice-cream on the side but the chocolate sauce was really sweet. Sweeter than my hot chocolate. Sickening.

Tomorrow is a xmas party bbq. I'm bringing some sausages. I only loathe eating them because at one point for about a month or 2 that was all that my Mum cooked for dinner. Too much! I generally refuse to eat them unless there is a bbq or if soy sauce isn't the only accompaniment when they are getting eaten.

I also tried to play my Violin today for the second time since exams. I like to play, I don't love it. I really have no patience when I have to practice. I still think that it is a good idea to keep it up but not to go for lessons. Next year for me I will have to focus on studying to get an 80% average on my marks if I go to Insearch. I managed to do that for most of my subjects this year during high school except for Music (ironically) and Software.

Right now it is 12am and I should be getting some sleep. I'll post up a picture of this gigantic screen later this week in comparison to my other screen that is used for the PC that is sitting right next to this iMac.

G

p.s. I didn't get that 3D board I wanted so much for my Birthday, fingers crossed for Christmas???

I also keep forgetting to write that since the Graduation evening my wisdom teeth have started to come out of hiding

I also cannot be bothered to recheck this for grammatical errors, sorry

A time to shop!

2010-12-19T21:01:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Today I went shopping with my Mum. We were shopping for about 6 hours. We first bought me some new shorts and tights and then after a stop at a coffee shop we bought shoes!!!

I'd take pictures of them but I am so tired at the moment from walking around all day. The shoes are great. They are black suede wedges. Very comfy. The other pair are flat white shoes. The wedges were originally about $250 but were reduced to $80, so naturally we got them.

After more shopping we ended up in a very nice shop and she bought me a handbag that I can use for work as another birthday present. My birthday is tomorrow so I know I'll wake up very happy. I love the bag, it's from Peep Toe. I think thats how you spell it. It was $110. My first 'grown up looking bag'.

Sigh, tomorrow it'll be my 18th Birthday. I have to fill out a passport application and go get a picture taken but I think I might get most of that done on Tuesday during the day when I'll be out getting things.

I know I said I'd eat some cake last night but I kind of forgot and fell asleep on the couch. I will eat some tomorrow or tonight depending on how I'm feeling...

During the day I forgot what tomorrow was. At about 4pm I thought, "oh, tomorrow's my birthday'... I had forgotten because I was distracted by shopping.

I haven't played Sims 3 in a few weeks =[ This makes me sad.

G

p.s. I hope everyone has a wonderful week leading up to Christmas, and that you all have a very happy New Year

I do love cake!

2010-12-18T18:55:00.000+11:00

Dear Reader,

Right now I am watching Back To The Future Part II. I do love watching these movies and so does my Mum.

Last night was the birthday celebration for my friend and I. It was at a restaurant with about 30 people including ourselves. The cake was huge. My dad was a little worried it would be too big but it wasn't. There was some cake left and I got to take it home. It is sitting in the fridge in the container the guy put it in. I will have some tonight. The cake was a Hazelnut Nutella cake that was layered. It tasted really good. I like cake.

I'd like to thank everyone who came and even though I didn't really know some of them it was great for you to come. It was even more awesome that two of my Primary school friends came. It was so nice to see them after so long.

I have to go, I'm too interested in this movie.

G

Letter Girl x`92

It's about to start !

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

A Vague Moment or Two

Valentines Day

Believe, Achieve, Succeed !

read with caution

i haven't the faintest idea...

neat and tidy

excitement !

...

work and play

New Years Resolution

just remember why

...

birthday, xmas, new year

soooo much money $$$!

i'll find the time

where is my time ???

so...much...to...do..!

suddenly dreaming

attempting cubism101

i need a break

time for tea

type, type, type

making stuff...

...

how reflective can we be?

i will try...

last day

sleeping, animating and eating

animation and the festival

it makes me happy

...

why am i still awake???

semester 2 is over!

after all, we are only human

the shell of distraction

every night while I sleep

two folders, a dinner, and an unexpected surprise

red paint all over

like dust

it's just not right

Difficult

...and now it's time for a nap

confused in the focus

take another step

that was surprising

I'm getting there

It's almost the end of break

It's up

Done and done

Animated...

That One Decision

It's been an... eventful week

It's almost here

Just one of those days

Happy Mother's Day

Getting Behind the Wheel

Is that really the time?

In Abundance

I've just been feeling... Happy

The Sole Purpose

Everything Happens for a Reason part 2

Everything Happens for a Reason part 1

Are you there?

Play-Doh :)

Tiring

a moment to reflect

This is like an eternity!

So to elaborate...

Times are Changing

a slightly uneventful week so far...

Uni, where the work just keeps on coming...

Friday night

*Fingers crossed*

The Things I do...

Unexplainably weird

Allow me to explain

A Hypothetical Situation For The Day

Fingers crossed